handy dandy phrase book

FINALLY. Internet. How I've missed you so.
Weekends at BGIS= NO INTERNET. Why? No library access; therefore, no internet. But, I've found this sweet little internet cafe about 1/4 from the school.

Alright...so, things have been interesting here lately..it's been from one extreme to another. Saturday morning I woke up with the teachers from the English Vision Camp (hosted by BGIS) and we went over to the cafeteria at the school for breakfast. Bob Evans..how I miss you. I enjoyed a lovely breakfast feast of eggs and rice with a side of hot dog (?) I think? At that point, I didn't care. I tend to get very hungry around this place, so when the food is served, it's chow time.."hot dogs" and eggs? WHY NOT!..though, i'm sure is somthing more like "hot cats" if ya catch my drift. Later that afternoon we met at the school and were separated into groups (one american teacher and two thai people) for the Saturday afternoon outreach. We scattered among the city delivering information about the upcoming mother's day sunday (this coming sunday) at our church. Mothers are invited to come and bring their children and stay for a lunch afterwards. We left the school grounds in school vans which brought us down the craziest, skinniest streets (TWO LANE) I've ever been on in my life. The van came to an abrupt stop and the two women I was with (one very pushy Korean and the sweetest Thai woman) led me through a broken fence, around a swampy river to a local village. There were children gathered around a tree, hitting the trunk of the tree with a stick and yelling some sort of rythmic tune (a game I guess...looked like more fun than I was having) hah. The children led us to their houses- and that's when I became speechless. These homes were literally trash mosaics...anything from candy wrappers, scrap car bumpers to drift wood was nailed and taped together for shelter. There were on average about five people living in each home. We'd knock on the door and usually the mom of the house would open the door with a huge smile on her face (i keep changing tenses, so i'm changing again to make this easier): a woman opened the door with a huge smile on her face. She bowed her head offered a "sawatdee kaa" to us and listened to what we had to say. The woman offered us something to eat and drink. I couldn't believe in this situation, a five person family, and she's offering us something. Out of politeness I accepted. She gave me hot tea and corn on the kob (not too bad, actually). I was just going to smile, hold onto it and not eat it..but she waited for me to bite into it (sort of like the woman from the wedding singer with the meatballs) so, I, as adam sandler, bit into the corn and what a sweet surprise. anyway, these living conditions were far worse than any help-the-children commercial i've ever seen. the smell was horrific and still, there were televisions in each home and a brand new, clean vehicle outside most of the homes. No one could speak english (of course) but when I heard the two women I was with say "America" I knew they were talking about me, and I'd smile and nod. I had a bag of "cracker and cream" snacks that I dispensed to the children and was amazed at the fact that as I'd hold out the snack for them to take, these filthy children would take a step back, bow their heads and thank me before they'd accept the gift- that's it. if i have kids, i'm raising them here.
Anyway..we did that for about 4 hours then ate dinner at a nearby japanese restaurant. We took a 5 min. taxi ride to this ENORMOUS mall to eat..there's a million malls around here (filled with the same stuff...whitening creams, little shoes and yellow shirts). This mall was nicer than anything I've ever seen..we all walked around in shock because of what we had seen earlier yesterday afternoon. So far this is the city of surprises... An area we visited today had a Ferrari dealer and Versace stores..and 15 minutes away are people living under old banners and paper roofs...it's ridiculously confusing how poverty works.
Today was church. All I can say about that experience is that is was very long and very confusing. The school/church is run by Korean missionaries, so the church service is in korean then translated into thai, then into english. SO, it takes about 3 times as long to get the word across. When we read scripture, it's outloud because that's how they believe God hears us speak/pray..so, three languages at once- what a party!
Finally today I bought a thai phrase book and began to read it in the taxi on the way back the dorm. There's informative info in there about dialects and tones of speech...key phrases, words, numbers..etc. Very useful things..until, the page I came across that had key phrases written out that one might use on a trip..
for example, I can now say "I'm looking for fisherman pants" and "you're only using me for sex" in thai...hmm, I now vow to use both of those phrases at least once everyday that I am here (to practice my thai, of course).
hah! Also, that taxi ride ended abruptly when our taxi got a flat tire and we had to change cars in the middle of traffic.
Anyway, there's apparently a movie theatre around here with Die Hard playing at it (it might be in Thai)..but, that makes it more fun.


..maybe they'll have fisherman pants there.
I'll get you pair too, don't worry.

"attention Big C shoppers..."

"..American blonde giant, aisle five!"

..or, at least that's what it felt like. Oh, Big C. Big C? Big huh? Big C is the Thai version of a Walmart- only, everything is freshly packed (meats, veggies, fruits, etc.) and it's about 5 stories high. Floor 3: Electronic department- code for: lots of Thai men interested in American women. Funny how no one can speak English and yet some guy managed to mutter: "ah, yes. america. very beautiful". Yea, I bet I am. I'm about twice your weight and height and go by Lauren the giant.
Anyway. I got ripped off. I accidentally left my camera memory card reader at my sister's house so now I've got a bunch of great pictures, and no way to get them onto my computer (which also isn't working with the internet here at the school) sigh.

well, it's free dinner at the school tonight.
hey, i'm sweating.
big surprise.

much love to you all.

love,
sweaty big foot.

what the baht?

6:30 am and I'm awake... I rose with the sun (probably because I was sweaty in bed).
Found myself a comfortable spot on the roof of our dormitory (there's a balcony type overlook) and sat down with my ipod and bible in my hands.Though the buildings surrounding the dormitory appear only inhabited by flocks of pigeons and cockroaches, there's something beautiful about the sun rising above such an impoverished city.I've seen the sun rise in the islands of the Bahamas..the white sands of Dania beach..above the mountains in Virginia...but this sunrise leaves me speechless. Something so warm, so pure and so beautiful rising above such despair..
Bethany Dillon sings,
"The same sun that
Rises over castles
And welcomes the day

Spills over buildings
Into the streets
Where orphans play"

..that's what I was reminded of this morning on the roof top. I like it up there.

8:30 soon came, and five of us climbed into the taxi heading for the BTS (the bangkok skytran) and went to Siam. Siam is the most Americanized area I've seen. Most of the Thai people there can either understand or speak English..tourist trap I'd say. Though I've only been here for two days, it was almost distrubing to see other white Americans in public as I'm only used to seeing the few teachers here at the school that are American. Hearing English spoken in public was also somewhat odd.

I first exchanged all my American money ($171) for Thai baht..equally 5800. With an exchange rate like that I must admit I feel like I really got a deal. Though less than two hundred dollars to my name seems as though I'm somewhat poor, I'm so RICH here. Oh, baht.. how you serve me well.
(33 baht= 1 US dollar)

So, the purchases I made today:

lunch:
garlic fried rice (aka stinky breath) 23 baht
chinese herbal tea (hot)- 23 baht

a yellow shirt that says "long live the king" with some sort of embroidered elephant (to wear on mondays in honor of the king): 199 baht (NOT a good deal)

a little bit of makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes called "stay white" (I left ALL of makeup in charlotte): 700 baht
(EXPENSIVE! Only because the makeup I had to buy was imported because all the makeup here is whitening makeup..and this is the least whitening stuff they've got!)

so, i'm saving my baht as I have an entire month before i get paid. so, i either better stop buying stuff, or starve. hmm.. hard choice!

I'm going to look for a ministry outside of school to get involved with. I'm like to find something to do with a woman's ministry or ministering to those affected by the sex trade industry here- something of eternal worth and purpose, that's all i ask!

Karaoke tonight. oh my word..i can't wait.
school training starts next wednesday, and after that- no more fun and games.

7-11 is huge around here. they have dried squid chips and bluberry yogurt soda.
ick!

sawatdee kaa.

barefoot in the library

yep. that's right. no shoes in the buildings here in Thailand- which is actually ironic seeing that feet (the bottoms of feet) are considered to be extremely dirty and rude if shown.
Funny. Maybe if they started wearing their shoes more they wouldn't have such dirty feet? I'll have to propose this idea to the king..I'll let ya know what he says.

So, I slept in the school dormitory last night. I'll be staying there until the end of July and then hopefully moving into my own apartment. MY OWN APARTMENT! IN BANGKOK! We looked at apartments today that are around 5000 baht/mo. (around $152) which includes water, electric, NICE furniture, internet, cable and a refrigerator if you want it).. It's actually nicer than anything I could have afforded on my own in the US, so this isn't much of a sacrifce..it's more of a huge step up the "hey i have a cool apartment" ladder. I must say that I am rather proud of my apartment experiences so far... the loft in downtown Lburg, to my own suite in Bangkok. I'm very blessed.

So, kids Korean church tonight, then off to the markets.

sawasdee.

So, kids Korean church tonight. Then off to the mall

fifteen pounds and six feet UNDER

Here I sit, comfy dress and all in the Charlotte International Airport...bags all checked (35 lbs each..I'm so proud they were under 50lbs. Probably the only thing in my life thats ever been UNDERweight. HAHA!)I've had last minute goodbye conversations with close friends, nice long hugs with my mom and sister... Going away for this long seems similar to planning your own dying day (in a non-morbid manner). I've taken care of my belongings, stored them away (if not thrown them/given them away), found a home for my Jeep and said my final goodbyes. So much to prepare for going away for a year really can be an exhausting series of events; only, when death arrives I won't have to worry about silly passport applications (and fees. boo.), storage spaces or if any of my bags are overweight. I've tried to capture each moment for it's beauty and simplicity. Instead of listening to the radio in the car, I've enjoyed the quietness while taking in the scenery- usually associated with traffic in North Carolina- but, still it's America, and we have traffic here. Traffic with scrapbooked bumpers of who's campaigning that year, what the latest music crazes are and an occassional "BABY ON BOARD!" We really are such an expressive society. Looks, books, odds and ends- we express ourselves through everything we do- somewhat like the man sitting to my immediate right- bald head, clean shaven, wire-rimmed glasses reading a fortune 500 book(business looking from the waist up) and then the curveball: cowboy boots and a leather carry-on rolling suitcase. I"m a believer that this man's somehow either related to Sheryl Crow or works in the Corporate Toyota offices and is going on a little plane trip to visit the truck-building boys over in Texas and just wants to fit in.
He might get beat up.
Let's just hope for the best.

Anyway, yes..capturing life's simplicity. Colsen's sticky, "raisin surprise" fingers, his innocent, high-pitched rendition of Bob's song, the smell of my mother's perfume "pew-fume", watching Taryn sing with her eye's closed at Watershed, the look in Scott's eyes when he looks at Taryn (the good one that is), how beautifully pregnant Taryn is and watching my unborn nephew grow a little everyday, looking over in church ans seeing my mom and clark holding hands...I'm so happy my mom has someone to hold hands wth, and finally, someone that loves her holding her hand, Rita's sweet words, my Dad's encouragement.. Love surrounds me. My family is love..and I've had the honor of having a little of all of this all my life.
Life is good. today, life is good.

Also- I just found out I'm not going to be living at the school in Thailand. I was just informed that the school will be giving me an allowance to find an apartment. oh boy, my mom's not gonna like that. (attention mom: it's okay. i'll be fine. i love you, too).

so, that's it. i'm going to detroit now. hello, kid rock.







.....or no, maybe he drives for NASCAR.

goodbye america.

hello, thailand.





I will bring 2 bags to the airport and leave behind a sniffling, loving mother, sister, nephew and everything that has been familiar to me now all my life.

This will be change. Change is oh, so good.
May the adventure begin.


11 hours.
giddy up.

six little strings.

I started playing guitar when I was in 10th grade. With a
hand-me-down guitar from my sister's college years, I was instructed to
practice, practice, practice. Dear H. Harvey was my instructor's name.
We'd meet in a closet sized classroom for an hour every other week.
Facing each other, knocking our knees together when tapping our toes to
the beat, we'd play all throughout the session. Mr. Harvey had a
collection of hawaiian floral print shirts which he'd only button up halfway. A gold chain with a detailed medallion
hung from his neck, hands adorned with jewels and hardened fingertips that told stories of stages he'd entertained. A bluesrhythm he
could play best- an inspiration to my musical dreams he had become. I
remember walking into those sessions (having never practiced.
practiced. practiced.) and always walking out wanting to one day be as
good as he was on that guitar. I'd bring recordings of Sting, Jewel and
other artists' showing him the songs I longed to play on my own.
Listening closely, he'd scribble letters. Many, many letters. Letters
and numbers at times. He'd play the recording again. Adjust a few
letters. Then a few numbers, then, he'd turn the wrinkled paper towards
me and say "here ya go."
The code of numbers and letters apparently
were supposed to be some sort of secret musical code that my fifteen
year old mind couldn't decipher on it's own. Ah, yes. Chords. They were
chords. Of course they were! I could never read sheet music, but H.
Harvey's scribbled chords mapped out every song that had ever inspired
me to play guitar- only one day, I went for my music lesson, and there
was no bumping of knees. No tapping of toes. Nohawaiian cruise wear. Only rain, my guitar and a long wait in my mom's Thunderbird. Thirty minutes passed. Thirty five. Forty.
H. Harvey had passed away that evening. No more guitar lessons.

Rest not, dear acoustic beauty. I still love to play.



..(i've also started to pack. no, really. i have.)

one hundred pounds of things

hello 1am.
nice to see you again.

for the past two days i've had the never-ceasing stomachache. pinpointing the thing responsible for this crippling pain has been somewhat difficult. my diagnosis: anxiety and excitement. oh, thailand. how you are so far away and yet so close.

oh bother. i still have two duffel bags to pack.
off to bed.

name games and tuesdays.

I've never been much of an actress, as my "professional" acting career
sponsored ego-boosting roles such as: "attendant no. 5," "the owl" (in
Charlotte's Web. Oh, wait..there isn't an owl in Charlotte's Web? I
KNOW! They made that role for me because I apparently wasn't suitable
for any of the normal farm animal characters) and finally my career
abruptly ended my senior year of high school with the final of all
roles: "background girl number 17; therefore, one can plainly see
though my life has been woven by several threads of drama, the dramatic spotlight never really was my thing.

Though,in reality I do play several roles (some better than others. maybe.)
Seeing that I usually wish my everyday encounters with life were accompanied by grand musical scores and coordinated dance moves, the everyday roles I play can become somewhat monotonous; however, my favorite role of all thus far in my mere twenty-one years on this earth is the role of "auntie belle". My sister nicknamed me "belle" when I was younger (short for Campbell) which was slightly odd seeing that Taryn and I both had the same last name as children. I decided to degrade her to the nickname "T". Yea, I showed her. Truly though, she still beckons me by the title "belle,"
therefore Colsen's intuition crafted "auntie belle". When I was younger,
my nickname always had somewhat of a melodic tune "i love you, belle," "you look so cute, belle" and "great job, belle". Now, thanks to a two year old's piercing cry, my lifetime nickname follows nothing but horribly terrifying squeals. "NO! Auntie Belle!" "My do's it, Auntie Belle!" "I want my Mommy, Auntie Belle!" Now hearing my ownname is almost insulting; therefore, as nothing short of revenge I too will shorten Taryn's last name. My sister, Taryn, will now be referred to as "FERT" And I will make sure that Colsen, lovely Colsen, will refer to her nothing other than "Mama Fert" (and "big mama fert" for the duration of her pregnancy).

I must say, I do love that little booger.
I love Colsen, too.

Today was more than satisfying. The Carolina sun welcomed a day by the pool, an extremely healthy lunch of Chic-Fil-A nuggets, and a Mexican dinner at La Paz with my Mom this evening. Pardon me, I meant- Big Mama Cone

paper, please.

The two hundred dollar expense for a Hepatitis and Typhoid shot seemed hardly worth it; however, I guess one never really would know. I almost wish I could see the injection working- almost like, to prove that the shots are worth the money, the doctors would stick those horrible needles all over your body, filling you up with these numbing foreign fluids and then suddenly a swarm of malaria infected mosquitos would swarm all over your body while an infected child of Hep A would bleed all over you so that I could walk out of that office feeling nothing other than peachy-keen knowing full well that "hey, I paid two hundred bucks. That crap can't touch THIS!"
Sadly enough, my doctor's visit ended with no such excitement other than a cold bottle of water and a "good luck" from the RN (rotten nurse?...not quite sure.) Afterall, I didn't go to med school.

With just over one hundred dollars left in my bank account I believe my Thailand shopping is complete. After sharing a creamy vanilla and wild berry softserve sundae with my mother and sister at the local Costco my work here is done. 400 mulitvitamins, tylenol, cold medicine, 4 packs of Crayola markers (the box says teacher approved. I felt as a teacher myself, I must get in on this marker movement and try them out so I too can say I approve of their multicolored marking capabilities.) My worry of course is rooted in the fact that I doubt 4 boxes of markers will last a year. Oh, Thailand...I pray you know of Crayola's wonderous products. Let's see.....clean socks, a family size pack of men's deodorant (..it's hot over there, and I figure men sweat more..so I figure smelling like pine and sporty blast isn't so much of a sacrifice for "stronger protection against the elements of heat!"-right guard) I bought these crazy yoga/pilates dvd's to keep me company in my dormitory. Even if I don't use them for exercise, the people are always so nice and encouraging on those videos...I might play them in the background for positive reinforcement and an occassional friendly face to repeat: "Great Job! Keep it up!"

Many bags to unpack. Two duffel bags to repack.
Giddy up.

toast and such

Ah, yes...the ever personal blog. So personal that anyone with internet access could fortunately google themself right here to this very page. So, to those of you Googlers out there: sawat-dee (hi in Thai) (in your case, also means Goodbye because you've most likely figured out this is a blog of someone you don't know)...

And then there's the rest of you- those of you whom I know personally and probably most dearly. Sadly enough this post was written from Charlotte, NC as I haven't left the country yet. I've had an amazing time here with my family. I've been here long enough to learn the lyrics to Bob the Builder, completely trash my sister's guest bedroom and somehow mentally map the confusing streets of Charlotte. I haven't been this close to family in..well, forever. The last time I saw Taryn for this long was probably when I was five, so, it's been quite satisfying getting this dose of sisterness (something I wouldn't mind having more of in my life).

It's official. It's 12:01am right now on Monday, July 16th. Officially ONE WEEK before I leave. Actually one week and 12 hours to get all technical and annoying. I really do feel as though this veil of "hey, I'm leaving...so we better spend some time together" has covered my most valued relationships. I've spent such memorable times with close friends since graudation. Amber (you're amazing!) and I went on a cruise together....highlights being the most frightening comedic act EVER, the three stupids, VW mexico car and frozen drinks...ahhhhhh. Oh Amber, I love you! I've gotten to go camping and to Busch Gardens 4 times with various friends. I've tubed 6 miles down the James river which has carved the most beautiful pathway through the Blue Ridge Mountains- it's beautiful! Needless to say- I feel like I've been living life to the fullest all because I'm not going to have these opporutnities for the next year. In all this I find myself wondering why I haven't lived life like this before? Why haven't I always lived for great oppportunities, seeking memorable and relationship-building adventure? Does it take knowing that I won't have the everyday convenience of friends and locality to really LIVE?
I want to live life like I'm always going to Bangkok. Things just seem to be so much...so much...brighter.

As I lay here on the bed, nestled inbetween 25 walmart bags packed full of years worth of bobby pins, toothpaste and socks..I am speechless. If you were to take anxiety, excitement, peace, thrill, uncertainty and certainty and put them all in a blender (with a little ice) you'd have a frozen Lauren's emotion smoothie. My soon-to-be friend Michael said Bangkok was so hot it's like "hell spewed fire all over the streets".

My favorite word in Thai thus far is: khanom pang ping (pronounce: KA-KNOME-PANG-PING). It means toast, but...there's just something fun about saying it.

So, with this comforting welcome slogan in my sleepy mind: I can't wait!