On the first day of Christmas, my journey gave to me:
A long wait in an airport.
The very weary partridge, wishing she were in a pear tree instead of an airport.
I firmly believe the MOST aggravating song that haunts the radio at Christmastime is undoubtedly “The 12 days of Christmas”; however, this year, my Christmas break is exactly 12 days, therefore, instead of pounding your forehead against the steering wheel the next time that terribly repetitive countdown of a song beckons from the dashboard- I will allow you to vicariously live through my 12 days of Southeast Asian adventure blogs. Whoop-whoop. Here we go!
Finally- the clock struck 3:30pm- AND……I WAS OUTTA THERE!
HARK! No more school for me for 2 weeks! Last night I was so relieved with the fact that I didn’t have to go to school today, that it hardly mattered that I was coming on this trip at all! (somewhat). I have been ridiculously excited for this little journey since the day I bought my ticket-November 6th, to be exact. Note: 1 day after Guy Fox day, therefore, somewhat of a post-holiday day. Second Note: If you know what Guy Fox day is, then we should be friends- GOOD friends. Around 3:34pm (not to be too exact,) I dropped my school bags amidst the disaster of my apartment floor, turned the fan on full blast and somehow managed to watch the majority of Season 2 of The Office. Hours past, I dosed in and out of awareness, and somehow between the Casino Night episode and a little bit of a workout session, the hours flew by and it was 1am.
1am, my apartment was still a mess. I realized not one single article of clothing was clean (and when I say “not clean,” I mean…not even close to clean- rather, something more like “I just found a receipt in the pocket of these pants from a movie I went to see LAST month..and, there’s no evidence the ticket has EVER been through the washing machine”
So, I decided to bid my farewells to the peculiar ways of mr. shrute and the charming grin jim halpert and pack.
What did I pack?
A bag full of dirty clothes, ½ a box of cereal, bug spray and my computer.
Five hours later, I was at the Bangkok airport.
It was there that my journey started to become interesting. As my world-traveling Dad has taught me, BE EARLY FOR FLIGHTS. How early? ANNOYING EARLY.
So, I was early- and, apparently TOO early.
Tell me, how is it at all possible that I could have been TOO early? After waiting for nearly an hour for my boarding pass, I approached the ticket counter at 6:30am and the woman said “oh, no. sorry. Come back at 7:25. Move over.”
Last post I admitted to my tendency to be a bit nosey. Okay, MORE than a bit nosey; however, more than nosey, I am not the most chipper of individuals before….umm..noon. So, I stepped aside and starred at the ticket counter for an hour so I could wait in line again and finally go to my gate.
I was in.
Gate G1. Good, good. I sat there making last minute phone calls to say my goodbyes, and then 10 minutes before my flight had to leave I got a phone call from one of the teachers I work with, Gina (super-cool, well-dressed, trendy, fun, from India,) who frantically told me that I needed to get a re-entry visa in order for my Thai work permit to stay valid upon my return to Thailand. I ran to the immigration desk and asked what I could do to make sure I would not have to get a new work permit when I return, and…well..it was too late (I think…we’ll see).
Needless to say…. I have a multiple entry visa (which SHOULD work,) but- who knows.
Now, I’m in Malaysia. My flight here from Bangkok was enjoyable. I’m flying Thai Air Asia the entire time, and I must say that I’m very impressed by the cleanliness of the planes. The not-so-cool part was the fact that you have to buy water and peanuts if you want anything during the flight. NOT COOL. So, I didn’t drink or eat a thing- instead, I read a bit and drooled all over the window, only to wake up 3 hours later here at the Malaysian airport.
Malaysia (from my 3 minute walk from the gate to the airport,) seems less polluted than Thailand, and actually smells a bit like Florida. Actually, to be precise- it smells exactly like being trapped inside that building for Space Mountain waiting line at Disney World in Orlando- but, then again, the only Malaysia I’ve experienced is this airport.
Moving on-I’m sitting in a cozy corner of a cheap airport coffee shop (once again, alone sipping coffee…) sigh- (might as well just strap on the red suspenders now, eh?) waiting for my next flight. I leave here around 4:30pm and I’ll arrive in Bali around 7:45pm. I’m extremely anxious to get there and meet Sandra and all the children. I’m already preparing myself to be overwhelmed at speechless, all while trying to maintain any kind of “cool,” I might possess. THAT reminds me:: I’ve come to realize that I am Brigit Jones. Yes, that’s me (minus the sleeping around with guys and the occupation part). Everything in those movies- her clumsiness, goofiness, attempts to be casually cool and graceful in public settings….note: “attempt,” yep. That really is me.
So..two hours until my flight leaves, which gives me 2 hours to enjoy my now room-temperature coffee and hopefully find something to settle this rumbling in the ol’ tummy. Actually, I’m quite certain I’m experiencing a bit of a negative reaction to my Malaria medication. After I took my first pill last night I read the list of side effects printed on the side of the bottle, which read: “nausea, vomiting and anorexia”.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. ANOREXIA?
How on earth could anorexia be considered a “side effect”?
In conclusion, here are my life lessons learned on day one of my journey::
1. There IS such a thing as being “too” early
2. You will be thirsty when you fly “Thai”
AND, most importantly::
3.rather than falsely judging the famous Hollywood anorexics, we should first stop and realize it might just be the Malaria meds and not a binge and purge.
..just somethin’ to think about.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
small cup of irony
last winter, a few days past Christmas, I went to the Caribou Coffee shop at Park Plaza just up the street from Taryn's house. I wanted to get away from the noise and dust of the remodeling of Taryn's house, and arrived in the little booth near the frosted window pane, small hazelnut coffee in-hand, around 9am. I had my bible with me and a small notepad for just-in-case notes. Not long after I had settled in my cozy corner did a rather rotund man plow his burly body through the double doors of the shop, scurrying up to the ordering-counter, eventually making his way to the table to my right. His coffee cup was lost in the grasp of his giant, fleshy-pink hands, and began busying himself with papers- so, so many papers. His hair matted with a layer of oil stuck to his forehead and neck. He wore a long-sleeved cotton shirt, charcoal colored sweatpants (2 sizes too small,) red suspenders and hiking boots. I remember thinking to myself "THIS must be what Santa looks like when he goes out for coffee...this is Santa's "down-time" attire.."
Ironically enough, this man had a messenger bag overflowing with newspaper clippings, letters and envelopes. (wait..was this guy really santa? I smirked.) I couldn't help but blankly stare- and, oh, what a daring, courageous stare it was! This man was sitting within 3 feet of me, and I was observing his presence as if I had front row tickets to his life's show. His large frame plopped into the wooden chair and he began shuffeling his papers in a cirular, rythmic motion, now completely covering the surface of the table.
His bag was made of tattered, worn leather- similar to the makings of his boots- slush-covered, tred-worn, loosened laced, boots- santa boots. The paper shuffeling continued- as did my staring- only, now my body was completely repositioned, facing his direction as my presence was absent of all things non-chalant- and STILL, this man didn't look at me...he just continued with those papers, keeping to himself the secrets of their contents..I wanted so badly to sit down at his table and read every single thing written on each one of those darned papers. What were they? Who was he? What was going on over there?
Have I mentioned that I am abnormally nosey? I've always told my mother that I want to have side-view mirrors like those on a car, attached to the side of my head so that I can keep track of what's going on behind and to the sides of me at all times. Only, this time...mirrors wouldn't help. I wanted to know more. Nosey? Yes.
This man captivated my attention..and, eventually, I slightly turned away and continued to read as be carried on with his business. I couldn't help but question this man's existence. Where was he for Christmas? Was he in town visiting family? Does he even have family? What kind of coffee was in his little cup? (I was betting whatever flavor the coffee was, that he ordered it with extra cream and sugar as only Santa would..) and, for goodness sakes, WHAT WAS HE DOING WITH ALL THOSE PAPERS??????!??!?!?!?!?
Just as my mind began to drift back to the contents of my book, he finally spoke.
He spoke to..me.
He said, "A book? It's refreshing to see a girl your age reading a book."
He glanced at my pen in-hand, and notebook and continued on, "And you like to write?..That's even better."
That was all the big man said.
I looked up at him-smiled, let out some sort of awkwardly nervous giggle and continued to read- only, this time, the messiness of that's man's table and hair no longer troubled my thoughts. My mind thought this man mad, strange and different, prior to his spoken words of complimentary worth in my direction- and, with that...I was encouraged.
The irony in this story is that I'm writing this as I sit here... alone, at a coffee shop, surrounded by families and couples- my table hidden by scraps of paper, aimlessly and frantically writing these words to... you. Needless to say, I admit that I have something in common with mr. santa-pants, and that is...I enjoy time to myself.
I stumbled upon this realization over our 3 day weekend we enjoyed last week. After spending 8hrs a day surrounded my students and fellow teachers, I clocked out at precisely 3:30pm on Friday afternoon, and was absent of all English-speaking social interaction from Friday afternoon until Tuesday morning at 7:00am. (oh, excuse me...I did verbally give my address to 3 cab drivers over the weekend,) but, other than that..there was a lot of silence. Prior to my coming here, I would have been strangely bothered by this scenario and feeling nothing short of all things lonely; however, it seems that I've become something similar to that of the greasy mr. santa-paper-pants in that I really do enjoy time alone. I've been to the mall on my own..out for coffee..grocery shopping...dinner..lunch..even breakfast- all alone, and surprisingly enough, I don't mind it!
However, do I prefer it?
All this alone time has led me to wonder if I'll one day find myself rummaging through a bag full of papers on a cool winter's morning, sitting beside a wide-eyed, curious youngster, sipping coffee in my tight sweatpants and red suspenders.
Ironically enough, this man had a messenger bag overflowing with newspaper clippings, letters and envelopes. (wait..was this guy really santa? I smirked.) I couldn't help but blankly stare- and, oh, what a daring, courageous stare it was! This man was sitting within 3 feet of me, and I was observing his presence as if I had front row tickets to his life's show. His large frame plopped into the wooden chair and he began shuffeling his papers in a cirular, rythmic motion, now completely covering the surface of the table.
His bag was made of tattered, worn leather- similar to the makings of his boots- slush-covered, tred-worn, loosened laced, boots- santa boots. The paper shuffeling continued- as did my staring- only, now my body was completely repositioned, facing his direction as my presence was absent of all things non-chalant- and STILL, this man didn't look at me...he just continued with those papers, keeping to himself the secrets of their contents..I wanted so badly to sit down at his table and read every single thing written on each one of those darned papers. What were they? Who was he? What was going on over there?
Have I mentioned that I am abnormally nosey? I've always told my mother that I want to have side-view mirrors like those on a car, attached to the side of my head so that I can keep track of what's going on behind and to the sides of me at all times. Only, this time...mirrors wouldn't help. I wanted to know more. Nosey? Yes.
This man captivated my attention..and, eventually, I slightly turned away and continued to read as be carried on with his business. I couldn't help but question this man's existence. Where was he for Christmas? Was he in town visiting family? Does he even have family? What kind of coffee was in his little cup? (I was betting whatever flavor the coffee was, that he ordered it with extra cream and sugar as only Santa would..) and, for goodness sakes, WHAT WAS HE DOING WITH ALL THOSE PAPERS??????!??!?!?!?!?
Just as my mind began to drift back to the contents of my book, he finally spoke.
He spoke to..me.
He said, "A book? It's refreshing to see a girl your age reading a book."
He glanced at my pen in-hand, and notebook and continued on, "And you like to write?..That's even better."
That was all the big man said.
I looked up at him-smiled, let out some sort of awkwardly nervous giggle and continued to read- only, this time, the messiness of that's man's table and hair no longer troubled my thoughts. My mind thought this man mad, strange and different, prior to his spoken words of complimentary worth in my direction- and, with that...I was encouraged.
The irony in this story is that I'm writing this as I sit here... alone, at a coffee shop, surrounded by families and couples- my table hidden by scraps of paper, aimlessly and frantically writing these words to... you. Needless to say, I admit that I have something in common with mr. santa-pants, and that is...I enjoy time to myself.
I stumbled upon this realization over our 3 day weekend we enjoyed last week. After spending 8hrs a day surrounded my students and fellow teachers, I clocked out at precisely 3:30pm on Friday afternoon, and was absent of all English-speaking social interaction from Friday afternoon until Tuesday morning at 7:00am. (oh, excuse me...I did verbally give my address to 3 cab drivers over the weekend,) but, other than that..there was a lot of silence. Prior to my coming here, I would have been strangely bothered by this scenario and feeling nothing short of all things lonely; however, it seems that I've become something similar to that of the greasy mr. santa-paper-pants in that I really do enjoy time alone. I've been to the mall on my own..out for coffee..grocery shopping...dinner..lunch..even breakfast- all alone, and surprisingly enough, I don't mind it!
However, do I prefer it?
All this alone time has led me to wonder if I'll one day find myself rummaging through a bag full of papers on a cool winter's morning, sitting beside a wide-eyed, curious youngster, sipping coffee in my tight sweatpants and red suspenders.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
the shallow and profound
Besides over-sized handbags, side-swiped bangs and macbooks, the current trend of world seems to be heading down the path of searching for the significant and profound. Most of the people I know are in somewhat of a soul-searching, significance-seeking aspect of life where we long to be wiser, deeper individuals. It seems at times there are things that are too insignificant to do, especially when seeking employment. "I don't want to a be a bag-boy for the rest of my life..." or, "what good is waiting tables? I want to do something profound..I want to go "out into the world," and change the world..."
Yesterday afternoon I was reading what Oswald Chamebers had to say about the "significance" and "profound" we're searching for. Based on 1 Corinthians 10:31- "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God".Yes, yes..I know- you've heard this verse before; however, this verse got me thinking.
Chambers says "We humans refuse to be shallow, not out of our deep devotion to God but because we wish to impress other people with the fact that we are not shallow."
Oh, how true- how, very true. As a 22 year old, single, female (no, this isn't a personal ad) there seems to be somewhat of an outside pressure to be "more" than who and what I am. Change this. Change that. Fix this. Fix that- so many pressures not to be the typical barbie-doll, mindless female who is interested in nothing more than Paris Hilton's latest fragrance and Britney's latest hair-style (or, lack thereof). I do admit that one of my lifetime goals is to avoid a shallow lifestyle. Avoiding shallow people, shallow books, shallow movies, shallow conversation, shallow, meaningless jobs..etc- avoiding everything and anything that doesn't seem to add some sort of weighty significance to my life; but, why? Why am I (and maybe you, too?) why are we so worried with becoming so "profound"?
Chambers continues on to say:
"Beware of posing as a profound person- God became a baby.
The ocean has a shore. Even the shallow things in life are ordained by God-
Never show the depth of your life to anyone but God. We are so nauseatingly serious, so desperately interested in our own character and reputation, we refuse to behave like Chrsitians in the shallow concerns of life. Make a determination to take no one seriously except God. You may find that the first person you must be most critical with, as being the greatest fraud you have ever known, is yourself"
If we are to do whatever we do all to the glory of God- this too, includes the shallow.
hmmmmmmmm....
Yesterday afternoon I was reading what Oswald Chamebers had to say about the "significance" and "profound" we're searching for. Based on 1 Corinthians 10:31- "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God".Yes, yes..I know- you've heard this verse before; however, this verse got me thinking.
Chambers says "We humans refuse to be shallow, not out of our deep devotion to God but because we wish to impress other people with the fact that we are not shallow."
Oh, how true- how, very true. As a 22 year old, single, female (no, this isn't a personal ad) there seems to be somewhat of an outside pressure to be "more" than who and what I am. Change this. Change that. Fix this. Fix that- so many pressures not to be the typical barbie-doll, mindless female who is interested in nothing more than Paris Hilton's latest fragrance and Britney's latest hair-style (or, lack thereof). I do admit that one of my lifetime goals is to avoid a shallow lifestyle. Avoiding shallow people, shallow books, shallow movies, shallow conversation, shallow, meaningless jobs..etc- avoiding everything and anything that doesn't seem to add some sort of weighty significance to my life; but, why? Why am I (and maybe you, too?) why are we so worried with becoming so "profound"?
Chambers continues on to say:
"Beware of posing as a profound person- God became a baby.
The ocean has a shore. Even the shallow things in life are ordained by God-
Never show the depth of your life to anyone but God. We are so nauseatingly serious, so desperately interested in our own character and reputation, we refuse to behave like Chrsitians in the shallow concerns of life. Make a determination to take no one seriously except God. You may find that the first person you must be most critical with, as being the greatest fraud you have ever known, is yourself"
If we are to do whatever we do all to the glory of God- this too, includes the shallow.
hmmmmmmmm....
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
khob kun kah
It seems as though I've been living in a manner of Thanksgiving Day defecit, carrying myself in a similar fashion as the unfortunately scheduled grocery store cashiers and bagboys of which, like myself, will be working on the day of American feasting extravaganza.
Thanksgiving- (my favorite holiday as I'm sure I've mentioned,) collects not only family, friends, buttery corn, mashed potatoes, fluffy stuffing, fruity dressings and decetant pies, a restful nap (or two. or..three,) but Thanksgiving Day indeed celebrates my mentally scheduled calendar date of "CHRISTMAS IS THIS MUCH CLOSER!" Thanksgiving, ah yes, how splendid a day. Good people. Good food..and, similar to a birthday, people are overly expressive about how grateful they are for God's blessings.
So, question is- is distance stronger than tradition?
Will 11,000 miles separate me from a lifetime of celebration and thanks?
Will the reality that I'm at school preparing to teach my next class at 9:15am, the Official Thanksgiving Day- Thursday, November 22 2007- rather than sitting around in cordorouy pants and a sweater munching on cheese and pre-meal treats, mean that this Thanksgiving will go uncelebrated?
No.
No.
No.
You see, my dear friends, right now in America it's your Wednesday, 9:15pm. Thanksgiving (for you) isn't for a few more hours. HOWEVER, my first proclaimation of thanks goes to the clever power of a little something I like to call.."time zones". Basically, today, all day, it will be Thanksgiving Day for me in Thailand. Tomorrow morning, it will be Thanksgiving in America- (and, I being the proud American that I am,) will insist that I continue my celebration all day Friday as well; therefore, if I've done my math correctly- I will be celebrating TWICE.
The opportunity for twice the celebration, I must add, is very convenient in that I believe over this past year, I have been blessed with twice as much (if not more,) than I ever should have been- so, having to have squeezed all those thanks into only one day would have been as futile as all the American early-bird shoppers that wake up Friday morning after their gravy-drenched feastings trying to slip into their ol' "skinny" jeans. (Guess the fifth helping of Grandma's sweet potato casserole didn't help..right?)
Reflecting over the last year seems to lead me nowhere but to my knees. God has given me family. God has given me friends. God has given me "things". "Things," that seem to make life less difficult at times- "things" for which I am thankful. Above the who's, the what's and whatever's, God has so graciously given me life. A life that He created and a life that He has given, and all he desires in return is my heart unwaivered by timezone, calendar or clock. He desires my heart because.... He sent me His.
...a love so deep that "thankful" cannot describe even once- or, twice.
Thanksgiving- (my favorite holiday as I'm sure I've mentioned,) collects not only family, friends, buttery corn, mashed potatoes, fluffy stuffing, fruity dressings and decetant pies, a restful nap (or two. or..three,) but Thanksgiving Day indeed celebrates my mentally scheduled calendar date of "CHRISTMAS IS THIS MUCH CLOSER!" Thanksgiving, ah yes, how splendid a day. Good people. Good food..and, similar to a birthday, people are overly expressive about how grateful they are for God's blessings.
So, question is- is distance stronger than tradition?
Will 11,000 miles separate me from a lifetime of celebration and thanks?
Will the reality that I'm at school preparing to teach my next class at 9:15am, the Official Thanksgiving Day- Thursday, November 22 2007- rather than sitting around in cordorouy pants and a sweater munching on cheese and pre-meal treats, mean that this Thanksgiving will go uncelebrated?
No.
No.
No.
You see, my dear friends, right now in America it's your Wednesday, 9:15pm. Thanksgiving (for you) isn't for a few more hours. HOWEVER, my first proclaimation of thanks goes to the clever power of a little something I like to call.."time zones". Basically, today, all day, it will be Thanksgiving Day for me in Thailand. Tomorrow morning, it will be Thanksgiving in America- (and, I being the proud American that I am,) will insist that I continue my celebration all day Friday as well; therefore, if I've done my math correctly- I will be celebrating TWICE.
The opportunity for twice the celebration, I must add, is very convenient in that I believe over this past year, I have been blessed with twice as much (if not more,) than I ever should have been- so, having to have squeezed all those thanks into only one day would have been as futile as all the American early-bird shoppers that wake up Friday morning after their gravy-drenched feastings trying to slip into their ol' "skinny" jeans. (Guess the fifth helping of Grandma's sweet potato casserole didn't help..right?)
Reflecting over the last year seems to lead me nowhere but to my knees. God has given me family. God has given me friends. God has given me "things". "Things," that seem to make life less difficult at times- "things" for which I am thankful. Above the who's, the what's and whatever's, God has so graciously given me life. A life that He created and a life that He has given, and all he desires in return is my heart unwaivered by timezone, calendar or clock. He desires my heart because.... He sent me His.
...a love so deep that "thankful" cannot describe even once- or, twice.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
yee sib sorng.
meaning: twenty-two.
sounds like gibberish? well, welcome to the Thai language.
my first birthday out of the country, and, i must confess that this birthday (though insignificant in number,) may have been the best birthday i've ever had. in the past, usual birthday traditions included an early-morning birthday wish from my mom, beckoning from the kitchen that my "L"-shaped birthday pancakes were getting cold and that if I didn't wake my lazy, birthday-butt out of bed, I'd most likely be late for school. Once at school, classmates would congratulate me on another year of life completed with treasures such as awkward side-hugs, hand-made cards (my favorite), and maybe, just maybe, a wonderfully performed rendition of "happy birthday" sung in the tone of voice-change. After the 3 o'clock bell would ring, the nighttime birthday fun would begin; dinner out, presents, celebration and several phone calls from various family members packaging long-distance encouraging words for my birthday enjoyment.
Ah, yes..the birthday. What I love most about having a birthday is that that one day, it never fails that everyone is so concerned with your happiness. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! crowds, strangers and loved-ones cheer with smiles- (and sometimes, even balloons!) Afterall, nothing bad ever comes from an occassion with balloons- UNLESS, it's a hot-air balloon. Hot-air balloons are like the birthday balloon's high-altitude, risky, firey, evil little brother, out to destroy all the good that comes with birthdays- which, of course, is why I NEVER plan on riding in an air-balloon (or an airboat,) because, afterall, I'd like to enjoy the remainder of birthdays the Lord may give me on this earth.
Why was this past birthday so special? Being required to attend 3 hours of mandatory church services indeed added no significance whatsoever to the 14th of November of 2007 for yours truly; rather, there are 10 little 5th graders of whom I hold so dearly to my now 22-year old heart that made my day-my birthday-so spectaular. As I approached my homeroom around 7:30am, I heard rustling, yelling, running, screaming- excitment. As I entered the room (not even knowing they had any knowledge that it was my birthday,) I approached my desk only to find a birthday cake sitting on my chair. As they all screamed, "Happy Birthday, Ms. Lauren!!!!," they immediately ran up to my desk, showering me with crayola-made prizes, presents and tokens of appreciation. They sang, they danced and they rejoiced- and a seemingly normal day turned into a day of excitement. Every corner I turned random students would yell "HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY! MS. LAUREN! MS LAUREN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" I may have heard that phrase more in that one day than I've ever heard on all my other birthdays altogether.
After the school day ended, my friend Mike and I opted out of church-dinner (which was a wise decision, seeing that the menu for the evening was something I like to call "nasty-fish-balls-in-oily-garlic-water soup") and went out for a good meal, and holiday coffee at Starbucks. That evening, I went to church and returned back to my apartment to spend the majority of the evening on the phone with my very-missed family members and friends. My day came to a close, laying in bed with an apple-pie-scented candle burning as I wrote in my new journal.
My day- my 22nd birthday- though absent of L-shaped pancakes and close family, was.... perfect.
I've made a few decisions for the age of 22. So many birthdays in the past have actually left me feeling a bit empty and I realize it was all by my own doing. Disappointments, self-inflicted pain and depression...all for no reason. I've come to the point to where I'm at the age where I have to start taking control of a few areas of my life concerning my day-to-day happiness. A few things, here-and-there, have gone neglected by the duties of each day- and, I like to say that although it's not the New Year, for me, it IS a new year. A new year of life, (regardless of what the calendar says,) and a year that I truly believe will be the best yet. Not a DAY..but instead, a YEAR to celebrate life...Mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically- change. newness. freshness.
so, hello, twenty-two- nice to meet you.
not a day- but, a year. a year for me..and, a year for you too (regardless of the calendar date)..
So, to all of you, a word of encouragement as well-
these words of worth and wisdom were written to me in a lovely little card of scribbles and paste by boy named Eun-Ki (3rd grade,)which read:
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALL THE TIME."
sounds like gibberish? well, welcome to the Thai language.
my first birthday out of the country, and, i must confess that this birthday (though insignificant in number,) may have been the best birthday i've ever had. in the past, usual birthday traditions included an early-morning birthday wish from my mom, beckoning from the kitchen that my "L"-shaped birthday pancakes were getting cold and that if I didn't wake my lazy, birthday-butt out of bed, I'd most likely be late for school. Once at school, classmates would congratulate me on another year of life completed with treasures such as awkward side-hugs, hand-made cards (my favorite), and maybe, just maybe, a wonderfully performed rendition of "happy birthday" sung in the tone of voice-change. After the 3 o'clock bell would ring, the nighttime birthday fun would begin; dinner out, presents, celebration and several phone calls from various family members packaging long-distance encouraging words for my birthday enjoyment.
Ah, yes..the birthday. What I love most about having a birthday is that that one day, it never fails that everyone is so concerned with your happiness. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! crowds, strangers and loved-ones cheer with smiles- (and sometimes, even balloons!) Afterall, nothing bad ever comes from an occassion with balloons- UNLESS, it's a hot-air balloon. Hot-air balloons are like the birthday balloon's high-altitude, risky, firey, evil little brother, out to destroy all the good that comes with birthdays- which, of course, is why I NEVER plan on riding in an air-balloon (or an airboat,) because, afterall, I'd like to enjoy the remainder of birthdays the Lord may give me on this earth.
Why was this past birthday so special? Being required to attend 3 hours of mandatory church services indeed added no significance whatsoever to the 14th of November of 2007 for yours truly; rather, there are 10 little 5th graders of whom I hold so dearly to my now 22-year old heart that made my day-my birthday-so spectaular. As I approached my homeroom around 7:30am, I heard rustling, yelling, running, screaming- excitment. As I entered the room (not even knowing they had any knowledge that it was my birthday,) I approached my desk only to find a birthday cake sitting on my chair. As they all screamed, "Happy Birthday, Ms. Lauren!!!!," they immediately ran up to my desk, showering me with crayola-made prizes, presents and tokens of appreciation. They sang, they danced and they rejoiced- and a seemingly normal day turned into a day of excitement. Every corner I turned random students would yell "HAPPY BIRTHDAY! HAPPY! MS. LAUREN! MS LAUREN, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!" I may have heard that phrase more in that one day than I've ever heard on all my other birthdays altogether.
After the school day ended, my friend Mike and I opted out of church-dinner (which was a wise decision, seeing that the menu for the evening was something I like to call "nasty-fish-balls-in-oily-garlic-water soup") and went out for a good meal, and holiday coffee at Starbucks. That evening, I went to church and returned back to my apartment to spend the majority of the evening on the phone with my very-missed family members and friends. My day came to a close, laying in bed with an apple-pie-scented candle burning as I wrote in my new journal.
My day- my 22nd birthday- though absent of L-shaped pancakes and close family, was.... perfect.
I've made a few decisions for the age of 22. So many birthdays in the past have actually left me feeling a bit empty and I realize it was all by my own doing. Disappointments, self-inflicted pain and depression...all for no reason. I've come to the point to where I'm at the age where I have to start taking control of a few areas of my life concerning my day-to-day happiness. A few things, here-and-there, have gone neglected by the duties of each day- and, I like to say that although it's not the New Year, for me, it IS a new year. A new year of life, (regardless of what the calendar says,) and a year that I truly believe will be the best yet. Not a DAY..but instead, a YEAR to celebrate life...Mentally, spiritually, emotionally and physically- change. newness. freshness.
so, hello, twenty-two- nice to meet you.
not a day- but, a year. a year for me..and, a year for you too (regardless of the calendar date)..
So, to all of you, a word of encouragement as well-
these words of worth and wisdom were written to me in a lovely little card of scribbles and paste by boy named Eun-Ki (3rd grade,)which read:
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALL THE TIME."
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
bottled water and an old man aussie.
this past weekend Mike and I travelled to Kanchanaburi and stayed at the BlueStar guesthouses. For 100 baht (3 dollars) the room included two single beds, a bathroom, fan, porch and a small card table with 2 chairs to sit and enjoy the view of the river. The guesthouse was made of bamboo and wood, and stood on stilts over the river (we could see through the floor boards of our hut down onto the surface of the water).. The next day we woke up and rode the train on The Death Railway into the mountains. The railroad was constructed during WWII and over 100,000 POW's died building it. When the Japanese had captured the land, they forced Thai, American, and Aussie POW's to construct the railway to connect to Burma. The trecherous conditions and malnourishment killed thousands upon thousands of POW's. During the time that these POW's were building the railroad, they were being bombed by their own countries (in attack to stop the Japanese) Life was horrible for these people..the Japanese would kill them if they didn't work hard or they'd soon be bombed by their own people if the railroad wasn't soon completed.
We rode the train to HellFire Pas (it used to be part of the railway) until the Burmese tore up their part of the track, disconnecting the railway into their country- however, even though the railroad has been torn up, a path way leads through the mountains for about 3miles that you can hike.
So, we hiked that and spent the day in the woods wandering around taking pictures at scenic overlooks and certain areas marked "BOMB CRATER".
Yes, that's right. I have a picture of myself standing in a WWII Bomb Crater in the mountains of Hell Fire Pass. Quite the photo-op, eh?
The weekend was indeed adventurous; however, I believe my favorite part of the whole weekend was meeting an Australian man on the train who uttered these words of wisdom and hilarity:
Pulling out an ice cold water from his bag after riding on the train for nearly 3 hours, I oddly looked at him in shock- how had he gotten cold water?!
He looks at me, smirk on his tanned face and states:
"Froze it last night. hah. Us Aussies are clever people-
we invented ice and stuff like that-"
as he smiled and enjoyed his frosty beverage. After several drowning gulps of his water, looks back at me and says [concerning water]:
"..eh..it's not as good as beer- but,....I guess it's okay."
Cheers.
We rode the train to HellFire Pas (it used to be part of the railway) until the Burmese tore up their part of the track, disconnecting the railway into their country- however, even though the railroad has been torn up, a path way leads through the mountains for about 3miles that you can hike.
So, we hiked that and spent the day in the woods wandering around taking pictures at scenic overlooks and certain areas marked "BOMB CRATER".
Yes, that's right. I have a picture of myself standing in a WWII Bomb Crater in the mountains of Hell Fire Pass. Quite the photo-op, eh?
The weekend was indeed adventurous; however, I believe my favorite part of the whole weekend was meeting an Australian man on the train who uttered these words of wisdom and hilarity:
Pulling out an ice cold water from his bag after riding on the train for nearly 3 hours, I oddly looked at him in shock- how had he gotten cold water?!
He looks at me, smirk on his tanned face and states:
"Froze it last night. hah. Us Aussies are clever people-
we invented ice and stuff like that-"
as he smiled and enjoyed his frosty beverage. After several drowning gulps of his water, looks back at me and says [concerning water]:
"..eh..it's not as good as beer- but,....I guess it's okay."
Cheers.
Monday, November 5, 2007
HARK!
GOOD, GOOD news.
first thing: Mike and I were looking on ThaiTicketmaster yesterday afternoon to see if there were any forms of live entertainment we'd be interesting in seeing and most of the entertainment was something like "thai cultural dance and motivational speaking.." ? I couldn't imagine an event like that.. so, I was about to log off the website until, to my surprise and shock, a little advertisement screaming "MUSE: LIVE IN BANGKOK NOV. 28" appeared before my little eyes. Needless to say, I went to the ticket office directly after school and bought my ticket. Life lesson: If you get the chance to see MUSE in concert- YOU MUST GO. ALWAYS.
SECOND THING: I heard back from the orphanage in Indonesia and they want me to come during my Christmas break... I can't wait! I still have to buy my plane ticket to get there (which is quite a lengthy process,) but, I'm going! I found this orphanage through a GOOGLE search and when I read the information about it, I immediately emailed them and asked them if I could be of any service. I found the information from the webpage for you::
SEEDS OF HOPE CHILDREN'S HOME
Jalan Panji N0.7 Kwanji
Desa Dalung Kec Kuta Utara
BALI, INDONESIA
PH: 62 361 422 677
DIRECTOR: REV TOMMY & MRS SANDRA
The orphanage was established in 2001. Rev Tommy purchased the building with his own money and some assistance from a group of people from Perth Australia. Many of the children came from nearby Hope orphanage which is run by his sister Tris. The orphanage has a very warm feeling and Tommy and his wife Sandra’s love for the children is obvious. The children are very happy and conditions are acceptable.
To look after the children costs the orphange AUD$42.00 per month. This provides food, shelter and schooling excluding medical care. The cost of medical care always beyond most orphanages in Bali. A nurse visits every 3 months. This costs around AUD$6.00 per visit but all they can afford. They simply do the best they can with the medication they have on hand. There are currently 80 children at the orphanage. 47 boys and 33 girls aged from 3 to 20 years. The children who cannot find a job when they leave the orphanage are allowed to stay in return for helping the younger children. The children learn music and boys mechanics and spray painting. Rev. Tommy would like a computer school for the children in the future.
The newest child is Michael who’s twin sister Michelle also lives at the orphanage. Their parents have 6 children and work in a garment factory. They could not afford to care for the twins and placed them into the orphanage. They visit the children once a month. The twins are a delight as are all the children at Seeds of Hope. The children accept children from all religious backgrounds and respect their beliefs.
Sandra recently had a stroke and is now limited in her day to day activity. Despite poor health Sandra continues to help the children and her love shines through.
A Visit to Seeds of Hope will leave you with lasting memories of 80 beautiful
chlldren and the strength of the human spirit against the odds.
The orphanage is very happy to receive visitors between 2.00 pm. and 6.00 pm. An appointment is not necessary but I do suggest you call first out of courtesy.
The orphanage has no sponsorship program.
So, this is wher I am headed for Christmas. Yes, I am going alone; however, it's a nonstop flight from Bangkok to the airport there, and I trust that getting from the airport to the orphanage shouldn't be too difficult. I am not sure exactly what I will be doing there or where I will stay- BUT, I am planning on going and we'll see what unfolds once I get there.
Until then, it's turning 22, parent/teacher conferences and the MUSE concert.
time for class..grade 8 English.
first thing: Mike and I were looking on ThaiTicketmaster yesterday afternoon to see if there were any forms of live entertainment we'd be interesting in seeing and most of the entertainment was something like "thai cultural dance and motivational speaking.." ? I couldn't imagine an event like that.. so, I was about to log off the website until, to my surprise and shock, a little advertisement screaming "MUSE: LIVE IN BANGKOK NOV. 28" appeared before my little eyes. Needless to say, I went to the ticket office directly after school and bought my ticket. Life lesson: If you get the chance to see MUSE in concert- YOU MUST GO. ALWAYS.
SECOND THING: I heard back from the orphanage in Indonesia and they want me to come during my Christmas break... I can't wait! I still have to buy my plane ticket to get there (which is quite a lengthy process,) but, I'm going! I found this orphanage through a GOOGLE search and when I read the information about it, I immediately emailed them and asked them if I could be of any service. I found the information from the webpage for you::
SEEDS OF HOPE CHILDREN'S HOME
Jalan Panji N0.7 Kwanji
Desa Dalung Kec Kuta Utara
BALI, INDONESIA
PH: 62 361 422 677
DIRECTOR: REV TOMMY & MRS SANDRA
The orphanage was established in 2001. Rev Tommy purchased the building with his own money and some assistance from a group of people from Perth Australia. Many of the children came from nearby Hope orphanage which is run by his sister Tris. The orphanage has a very warm feeling and Tommy and his wife Sandra’s love for the children is obvious. The children are very happy and conditions are acceptable.
To look after the children costs the orphange AUD$42.00 per month. This provides food, shelter and schooling excluding medical care. The cost of medical care always beyond most orphanages in Bali. A nurse visits every 3 months. This costs around AUD$6.00 per visit but all they can afford. They simply do the best they can with the medication they have on hand. There are currently 80 children at the orphanage. 47 boys and 33 girls aged from 3 to 20 years. The children who cannot find a job when they leave the orphanage are allowed to stay in return for helping the younger children. The children learn music and boys mechanics and spray painting. Rev. Tommy would like a computer school for the children in the future.
The newest child is Michael who’s twin sister Michelle also lives at the orphanage. Their parents have 6 children and work in a garment factory. They could not afford to care for the twins and placed them into the orphanage. They visit the children once a month. The twins are a delight as are all the children at Seeds of Hope. The children accept children from all religious backgrounds and respect their beliefs.
Sandra recently had a stroke and is now limited in her day to day activity. Despite poor health Sandra continues to help the children and her love shines through.
A Visit to Seeds of Hope will leave you with lasting memories of 80 beautiful
chlldren and the strength of the human spirit against the odds.
The orphanage is very happy to receive visitors between 2.00 pm. and 6.00 pm. An appointment is not necessary but I do suggest you call first out of courtesy.
The orphanage has no sponsorship program.
So, this is wher I am headed for Christmas. Yes, I am going alone; however, it's a nonstop flight from Bangkok to the airport there, and I trust that getting from the airport to the orphanage shouldn't be too difficult. I am not sure exactly what I will be doing there or where I will stay- BUT, I am planning on going and we'll see what unfolds once I get there.
Until then, it's turning 22, parent/teacher conferences and the MUSE concert.
time for class..grade 8 English.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
i dont have an oven...
....and you might-
so- here's something special for you to make (recipe i found online while browsing)::
Low-fat whole wheat pumpkin spice cookies
3/4 c. pumpkin
1/2 c. + 2 tbsp. fat-free plain yogurt
1 tsp. vanilla
2 c. whole wheat flour
1 c. raisins
3/4 c. brown sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. ginger
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. allspice
unsweetened applesauce, if necessary
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare baking sheets with cooking spray. Combine pumpkin, yogurt and vanilla in one mixing bowl. Combine dry ingredients and raisins in another. Mix wet into dry until moist. (When working with whole wheat flour, you might need a little oomph for moisture. I use unsweetened applesauce.) Drop tablespoons of the mixture onto baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes. Eat them quickly, or freeze them; they're prone to stickiness. I've used dried cranberries in place of raisins, too. Verdict: yum.
so- here's something special for you to make (recipe i found online while browsing)::
Low-fat whole wheat pumpkin spice cookies
3/4 c. pumpkin
1/2 c. + 2 tbsp. fat-free plain yogurt
1 tsp. vanilla
2 c. whole wheat flour
1 c. raisins
3/4 c. brown sugar
2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. ginger
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. allspice
unsweetened applesauce, if necessary
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare baking sheets with cooking spray. Combine pumpkin, yogurt and vanilla in one mixing bowl. Combine dry ingredients and raisins in another. Mix wet into dry until moist. (When working with whole wheat flour, you might need a little oomph for moisture. I use unsweetened applesauce.) Drop tablespoons of the mixture onto baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes. Eat them quickly, or freeze them; they're prone to stickiness. I've used dried cranberries in place of raisins, too. Verdict: yum.
thanks, Columbus.
hi.
it has now been 3 months (and a couple days) since my arrival in this crazy city- bangkok. many ask- "so, are you enjoying it so far?" "how's the weather?" "do you miss home?"
the answers: yes. hot. yes.
however, to add some additional information on the way that I am feeling about being displaced in this crazy asian metropolis can be summed up in the question: "HOW?"
HOW can it be that it is literally impossible to see the sun set here?
HOW is it that fresh air so so hard to come by?
HOW on earth can I still have 8 months left here?
HOW can these children possibly be learning anything from me?
HOW will I ever save any money if all I want to do is spend it on travelling?
so, if any of you can answer any of these questions for me..I'd be oh, so grateful!
I've spoken with a few people- friends and family, and have explained my current feeling towards my experience teaching. I've come to the realization that I love my students. I love their ambition. I love their personalities. I love their hilarious comments and broken English..but, I'm pretty sure I don't love being a teacher. Because teaching is far more than spending time with kids and getting to know their individual personalities, the actual "work" of teaching isn't really my cup of tea.
But, we must all do things in life that we aren't all that fond of.
And, in my case- I do the lesson planning (that I'm not fond of) so I can spend time with these students (who I am fond of).
November. AH, yes. November is coming. HOORAY.
November is a fantastic month. Besides turkey and all the dressings, November brings the closing of one season and the opening to another. While the remainder of the leaves tightly grasping onto branches finally reach the ground, the temperature cools enough to see your breath on your morning drive into work... (well, not in Bangkok- but, sometimes I turn the air conditioning down real low and pretend).
I'm actually noticing a difference in the temperature here. The monsoons have finally stopped, and the sun rests around 6pm..so- this must be fall? Winter? who knows. I know that it's not AS hot here as when I first arrived (meaning- my fingers and toes aren't sweating as much) but other than that, the weather is still the same. BUT- celebrate..because, somewhere in the world all the wonders of November are happening. so, celebrate for me, wherever you are- okay?
So- Thanksgiving...yep. Thanksgiving here goes..well...unnoticed. uncelebrated. While this school employs 11 Americans they do not employ any sort of Thanksgiving Day policy where we all sleep in and enjoy fine, tasty treats; however, turkey, cranberry and gravy or not- we WILL be celebrating giving and thanks.
for example- my idea:
everyone can GIVE me a birthday present-
and, I'll say: THANKS!
no? bad idea?
what if I dress like a Pilgrim?
..or..maybe even an Indian?
..a Turkey?
hmm. I've run out of ideas. anyhow- I think the other Americans and I will celebrate in our little Thai kinda way...so, thanks Columbus. here's to you.
it has now been 3 months (and a couple days) since my arrival in this crazy city- bangkok. many ask- "so, are you enjoying it so far?" "how's the weather?" "do you miss home?"
the answers: yes. hot. yes.
however, to add some additional information on the way that I am feeling about being displaced in this crazy asian metropolis can be summed up in the question: "HOW?"
HOW can it be that it is literally impossible to see the sun set here?
HOW is it that fresh air so so hard to come by?
HOW on earth can I still have 8 months left here?
HOW can these children possibly be learning anything from me?
HOW will I ever save any money if all I want to do is spend it on travelling?
so, if any of you can answer any of these questions for me..I'd be oh, so grateful!
I've spoken with a few people- friends and family, and have explained my current feeling towards my experience teaching. I've come to the realization that I love my students. I love their ambition. I love their personalities. I love their hilarious comments and broken English..but, I'm pretty sure I don't love being a teacher. Because teaching is far more than spending time with kids and getting to know their individual personalities, the actual "work" of teaching isn't really my cup of tea.
But, we must all do things in life that we aren't all that fond of.
And, in my case- I do the lesson planning (that I'm not fond of) so I can spend time with these students (who I am fond of).
November. AH, yes. November is coming. HOORAY.
November is a fantastic month. Besides turkey and all the dressings, November brings the closing of one season and the opening to another. While the remainder of the leaves tightly grasping onto branches finally reach the ground, the temperature cools enough to see your breath on your morning drive into work... (well, not in Bangkok- but, sometimes I turn the air conditioning down real low and pretend).
I'm actually noticing a difference in the temperature here. The monsoons have finally stopped, and the sun rests around 6pm..so- this must be fall? Winter? who knows. I know that it's not AS hot here as when I first arrived (meaning- my fingers and toes aren't sweating as much) but other than that, the weather is still the same. BUT- celebrate..because, somewhere in the world all the wonders of November are happening. so, celebrate for me, wherever you are- okay?
So- Thanksgiving...yep. Thanksgiving here goes..well...unnoticed. uncelebrated. While this school employs 11 Americans they do not employ any sort of Thanksgiving Day policy where we all sleep in and enjoy fine, tasty treats; however, turkey, cranberry and gravy or not- we WILL be celebrating giving and thanks.
for example- my idea:
everyone can GIVE me a birthday present-
and, I'll say: THANKS!
no? bad idea?
what if I dress like a Pilgrim?
..or..maybe even an Indian?
..a Turkey?
hmm. I've run out of ideas. anyhow- I think the other Americans and I will celebrate in our little Thai kinda way...so, thanks Columbus. here's to you.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
the power of one.
one. one. one. one. one. one.
one man. one woman.a table for one. a single. a group of one. tea for one.
one. only..ONE.
who is to doubt the power of an indivudual? Do I doubt the power of one? Do I doubt myself? Do I doubt you? Do I doubt the impact that only ONE person can have on my life? And- do I question the impact that I (one,) could have on another?
Thought 3 in part, Jesus Christ came as one man- and in this one man we are saved from eternal suffering. Romans 5:19- "For just through disobedience of ONE man, the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the ONE man, the MANY will be made righteous"
I don't want to doubt my being here. I don't want to become so overwhelmed by this culture and these people that I doubt the amazing act of God in bringing me here.
I never want to doubt the impact of one. Though, so many times I don't feel complete..I don't feel like I'm even a "one," rather, more like a half.
and sometimes, I feel like a sixteenth. or maybe, a a twenthieth. or hundreth of a whole- but, through one man, sin entered the world and ALL people, and through one man (one, AMAZING, PERFECT man,) sin is forgiven and all men made righteous.
one. one. one.
I think of this as I make my plans for Christmas vacation. I've been doing some research on non-profit organizations in southeast asia (singapore, indonesia, cambodia, laos, vietnam, etc) to see if there are any opporutnities to serve during my 12 day break. I've sent emails to several organizations, and many haven't replied.
Again- one email..insignificant? one American trying to make a difference- useless? Though so many parts of life seem to painfully bruise one's self-worth and significance, never, ever doubt the impact of one.
one prayer can save a life. one act of kindess can change a life. one penny a day can feed the hungry (or, so the commercials claim..haha)
so- with this...I continue.
one year. one girl. one country. one God.
one man. one woman.a table for one. a single. a group of one. tea for one.
one. only..ONE.
who is to doubt the power of an indivudual? Do I doubt the power of one? Do I doubt myself? Do I doubt you? Do I doubt the impact that only ONE person can have on my life? And- do I question the impact that I (one,) could have on another?
Thought 3 in part, Jesus Christ came as one man- and in this one man we are saved from eternal suffering. Romans 5:19- "For just through disobedience of ONE man, the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the ONE man, the MANY will be made righteous"
I don't want to doubt my being here. I don't want to become so overwhelmed by this culture and these people that I doubt the amazing act of God in bringing me here.
I never want to doubt the impact of one. Though, so many times I don't feel complete..I don't feel like I'm even a "one," rather, more like a half.
and sometimes, I feel like a sixteenth. or maybe, a a twenthieth. or hundreth of a whole- but, through one man, sin entered the world and ALL people, and through one man (one, AMAZING, PERFECT man,) sin is forgiven and all men made righteous.
one. one. one.
I think of this as I make my plans for Christmas vacation. I've been doing some research on non-profit organizations in southeast asia (singapore, indonesia, cambodia, laos, vietnam, etc) to see if there are any opporutnities to serve during my 12 day break. I've sent emails to several organizations, and many haven't replied.
Again- one email..insignificant? one American trying to make a difference- useless? Though so many parts of life seem to painfully bruise one's self-worth and significance, never, ever doubt the impact of one.
one prayer can save a life. one act of kindess can change a life. one penny a day can feed the hungry (or, so the commercials claim..haha)
so- with this...I continue.
one year. one girl. one country. one God.
Monday, October 8, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
this and that.
It’s strange to feel as if there was anything else I’ve ever known. Bangkok has become my home and I’ve been here for only 2 months. Over these past 2 months I haven’t seen anyone from my family, Keane was born and my friends have continued living their everyday lives of dinner dates and football games.
Isn’t this the life I was searching for? The life of change- of newness…the unfamiliarity I’ve been seeking? Is this the peculiarly charming lure of spontaneity to welcome my newly graduated self?
Questions continue to run through my mind- why did I come here? Who did I come for? What are they doing there? Where will I go from here? …And after that?
These questions weave in and out of mental traffic, congesting ordinary thoughts with worries of the past, present and future.
It’s in my times of questioning that I always run across several passages that seem to only confuse my weak mind even more. Oswald Chambers wrote: “We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life- those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength”
Until the moment I came here to Bangkok, I was always concerned with the future. College- such a future oriented lifestyle… concentrating on the present to make the future that much greater; however, the “future” after college was to be defined by applications, resumes and founded on my possession of factual knowledge- the knowledge that can be written down and applied…Business matrices, consumer preference analyses, and numerically weighty spreadsheets- and somehow…somehow (God’s how,) I ended up here…in this moment- in this place, doing this thing- these things…at this…this moment in this place. This is the “future”. This is the anticipated moment...this is the outcome of my daily pursuit for what my future was to possess….
College- life’s hopeful kaleidoscope, promised a future of colorful experiences. Regardless of which subjects I studied, which books were heavily highlighted, marked and tattered- each year, each course, each professor encouraged me more. Encouraged me to press onward and pursue “the future”.
Well, here I am. I am in “the future”. And tomorrow, I will be in “the future”. The future is only “the future,” today. Once today passes, that future becomes our present- our “now”. That moment becomes this moment…and so, the question becomes- what am I doing now? What am I doing in this moment?
John Piper. Oh, John Piper...he’s amazing. God has given him such amazing insight... I’ve been reading several of his books since I’ve been here. A Bible passage I read the other day states “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” (Matthew 6:33-34). John Piper comments on this passage saying, “Today’s mercies are for today’s troubles…”
Today. Not tomorrow. TODAY. I am asking for strength for today…for guidance- enough guidance for today. Wisdom for today. I will ask today for these things, as I cannot be certain I will be here to ask for them tomorrow. “You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes…” (James 4).
A mist. I am a mist today. Whatever is less than a mist- I am that tomorrow. I am that in “the future”. I cannot speak of a time or place of which I cannot be sure I will exist; however, I can live now. I can act NOW. I am alive NOW. I am in THIS moment…
A lifetime of planning my future has taught me to live in the present.
Here I am…NOW.
Isn’t this the life I was searching for? The life of change- of newness…the unfamiliarity I’ve been seeking? Is this the peculiarly charming lure of spontaneity to welcome my newly graduated self?
Questions continue to run through my mind- why did I come here? Who did I come for? What are they doing there? Where will I go from here? …And after that?
These questions weave in and out of mental traffic, congesting ordinary thoughts with worries of the past, present and future.
It’s in my times of questioning that I always run across several passages that seem to only confuse my weak mind even more. Oswald Chambers wrote: “We are not made for the mountains, for sunrises, or for the other beautiful attractions in life- those are simply intended to be moments of inspiration. We are made for the valley and the ordinary things of life, and that is where we have to prove our stamina and strength”
Until the moment I came here to Bangkok, I was always concerned with the future. College- such a future oriented lifestyle… concentrating on the present to make the future that much greater; however, the “future” after college was to be defined by applications, resumes and founded on my possession of factual knowledge- the knowledge that can be written down and applied…Business matrices, consumer preference analyses, and numerically weighty spreadsheets- and somehow…somehow (God’s how,) I ended up here…in this moment- in this place, doing this thing- these things…at this…this moment in this place. This is the “future”. This is the anticipated moment...this is the outcome of my daily pursuit for what my future was to possess….
College- life’s hopeful kaleidoscope, promised a future of colorful experiences. Regardless of which subjects I studied, which books were heavily highlighted, marked and tattered- each year, each course, each professor encouraged me more. Encouraged me to press onward and pursue “the future”.
Well, here I am. I am in “the future”. And tomorrow, I will be in “the future”. The future is only “the future,” today. Once today passes, that future becomes our present- our “now”. That moment becomes this moment…and so, the question becomes- what am I doing now? What am I doing in this moment?
John Piper. Oh, John Piper...he’s amazing. God has given him such amazing insight... I’ve been reading several of his books since I’ve been here. A Bible passage I read the other day states “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” (Matthew 6:33-34). John Piper comments on this passage saying, “Today’s mercies are for today’s troubles…”
Today. Not tomorrow. TODAY. I am asking for strength for today…for guidance- enough guidance for today. Wisdom for today. I will ask today for these things, as I cannot be certain I will be here to ask for them tomorrow. “You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes…” (James 4).
A mist. I am a mist today. Whatever is less than a mist- I am that tomorrow. I am that in “the future”. I cannot speak of a time or place of which I cannot be sure I will exist; however, I can live now. I can act NOW. I am alive NOW. I am in THIS moment…
A lifetime of planning my future has taught me to live in the present.
Here I am…NOW.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Story hour.
In 5th grade English we've been reading short realistic fictional stories under the theme "Nature's Fury". I assigned the students a creative writing assignment where they had to write about volcanoes, storms, etc. And this....this is my favorite story. I cried in laughter when I was reading it aloud solely because this girl is a genius. This story is copied exactly how it was written- punctuation, grammar, spelling the whole deal. Enjoy.
“Charlie’s Adventures” (with Henry)
by: Yada Fishlock, grade 5
Charlie was a chatterbox. When he was in school he was always chatting with his friends. Do you know what he was chatting about? Right, he was always chatting about his adventures. Once he’s been in a snow storm. And he said that he couldn’t even open the door! And when he looked out of the window he only saw snow! He’s been in a thunder storm, hale storm, a tsunami, an earthquake, sand storm and a flood. You know why he’s been in all this breathtaking adventures? Because he liked traveling! And he liked reading books (he couldn’t read any books now because he’d read every book in this house!) He played computer very often. But his lastest adventure was a lightning storm. It was all very boring for him because he couldn’t play the computer. Why? Because the computer would crash! And the storm was so noisey, loud, windy, rainy (it was raining like crazy!,) scary, incredible, fantastic and breathtaking.
And now he was going to the old ruins of “The Volcano Place”. There had been lots of volcano eruption there, with all the red, blubbling, hot lava, that ruined all the houses and killed all of the people. Now he had to sleep in a tent. He was not ure that it was safe to sleep in a tent there. Oh! And I forgot to tell you that he was going by himself! So he would be the only on there.
But he was wrong.
When he got there he was so hungry, so he found something to eat. It was some mouthwatering chocolates.
After that he saw a little cave near where his tent was, so he stood in the front of the cave and asked “Is anyone there?”
He heard something moving so he went inside the cave and asked once again “Is anyone there?”
“Don’t come in!” someone said.
“I won’t harm you.” Charlie answered.
“Really?” The person asked.
“I promise.” Charlie reassured.
“Wait, don’t laugh at what I’m wearing, ok?” that person said.
“I promise.” Charlie promised again.
“Sure?” That person said.
“Sure! Wait, by the way I’m Charlie. What’s your name?” Charlie asked.
“My name is Henry, nice to meet you.” Said Henry walking out of the cave.
“Your clothes are cooler than my clothes!” Charlie told Henry.
“Really?” Henry asked.
“Really!” Charlie told Henry.
“You are the kindest person I’ve ever met” Henry told Charlie.
“Do you want to have a bath? I have some spare stuff I can share with you” Charlie asked going in his tent.
“You are too kind!” Henry said.
“Here you go. There is soap, shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste, a towel and some clothes for you to use. And go to the cave at the back of my tent so you can have a bath. And after you’ve had a bath you can have something to eat” Charlie told Henry.
“Thank you very much!” Henry thanked Charlie.
When Henry was having a bath, Charlie was thinking How did Henry get here? But he didn’t dare ask Henry.
After Henry finished having a bath, he could smell nice cooked food waiting for him and the smell made his tummy rumble.
Charlie told Henry “Here have this cooked food”.
“You’re being too kind!” Henry said starting to eat.
The next day the two boys woke up as early as they could just to make sure that the lava wasn’t coming out of the volcano. Luckly, they were safe.
Two days past now and still no lava.
Charlie asked Henry “Do you know when the lava is going to come?”
“I don’t know, why?” Henry asked.
“I just want to keep some lava and bring it back to London” said Charlie.
Later that day, the two boys heard some strange noise when they were packing their bags. The two boys finished packing their bags and put everything in Charlie’s private plane. They were getting on the plane when Henry shouted “LAVA!!”
Charlie looked at the lava and shouted “WHIRLPOOL LAVA!!”
Charlie quickly took a picture of it and got some lava. He put the hot lava in a metal bucket and the two boys quickly jumped into the plane and Charlie flied the plane all the way back to London.
From then on Charlie and Henry were best friends for ever. Charlie even taught Henry how to fly a plane. And the picture that Charlie took became famous, even Charlie and Henry became famous just because they survived from the lava. And the lava that Charlie got it was still hot and bubbling. Charlie was keeping it in his room.
One day the two boys were going to pay at their neighbor’s house. When Mrs. Watson opened the door she said “Henry!”
“Mom!” Henry said
“Thank you very much Charlie! Thank you!” Mrs. Watson said.
Eleven years later they were still best friends! And the lava was still there!”
THE END.
(This is why I love my job.)
“Charlie’s Adventures” (with Henry)
by: Yada Fishlock, grade 5
Charlie was a chatterbox. When he was in school he was always chatting with his friends. Do you know what he was chatting about? Right, he was always chatting about his adventures. Once he’s been in a snow storm. And he said that he couldn’t even open the door! And when he looked out of the window he only saw snow! He’s been in a thunder storm, hale storm, a tsunami, an earthquake, sand storm and a flood. You know why he’s been in all this breathtaking adventures? Because he liked traveling! And he liked reading books (he couldn’t read any books now because he’d read every book in this house!) He played computer very often. But his lastest adventure was a lightning storm. It was all very boring for him because he couldn’t play the computer. Why? Because the computer would crash! And the storm was so noisey, loud, windy, rainy (it was raining like crazy!,) scary, incredible, fantastic and breathtaking.
And now he was going to the old ruins of “The Volcano Place”. There had been lots of volcano eruption there, with all the red, blubbling, hot lava, that ruined all the houses and killed all of the people. Now he had to sleep in a tent. He was not ure that it was safe to sleep in a tent there. Oh! And I forgot to tell you that he was going by himself! So he would be the only on there.
But he was wrong.
When he got there he was so hungry, so he found something to eat. It was some mouthwatering chocolates.
After that he saw a little cave near where his tent was, so he stood in the front of the cave and asked “Is anyone there?”
He heard something moving so he went inside the cave and asked once again “Is anyone there?”
“Don’t come in!” someone said.
“I won’t harm you.” Charlie answered.
“Really?” The person asked.
“I promise.” Charlie reassured.
“Wait, don’t laugh at what I’m wearing, ok?” that person said.
“I promise.” Charlie promised again.
“Sure?” That person said.
“Sure! Wait, by the way I’m Charlie. What’s your name?” Charlie asked.
“My name is Henry, nice to meet you.” Said Henry walking out of the cave.
“Your clothes are cooler than my clothes!” Charlie told Henry.
“Really?” Henry asked.
“Really!” Charlie told Henry.
“You are the kindest person I’ve ever met” Henry told Charlie.
“Do you want to have a bath? I have some spare stuff I can share with you” Charlie asked going in his tent.
“You are too kind!” Henry said.
“Here you go. There is soap, shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste, a towel and some clothes for you to use. And go to the cave at the back of my tent so you can have a bath. And after you’ve had a bath you can have something to eat” Charlie told Henry.
“Thank you very much!” Henry thanked Charlie.
When Henry was having a bath, Charlie was thinking How did Henry get here? But he didn’t dare ask Henry.
After Henry finished having a bath, he could smell nice cooked food waiting for him and the smell made his tummy rumble.
Charlie told Henry “Here have this cooked food”.
“You’re being too kind!” Henry said starting to eat.
The next day the two boys woke up as early as they could just to make sure that the lava wasn’t coming out of the volcano. Luckly, they were safe.
Two days past now and still no lava.
Charlie asked Henry “Do you know when the lava is going to come?”
“I don’t know, why?” Henry asked.
“I just want to keep some lava and bring it back to London” said Charlie.
Later that day, the two boys heard some strange noise when they were packing their bags. The two boys finished packing their bags and put everything in Charlie’s private plane. They were getting on the plane when Henry shouted “LAVA!!”
Charlie looked at the lava and shouted “WHIRLPOOL LAVA!!”
Charlie quickly took a picture of it and got some lava. He put the hot lava in a metal bucket and the two boys quickly jumped into the plane and Charlie flied the plane all the way back to London.
From then on Charlie and Henry were best friends for ever. Charlie even taught Henry how to fly a plane. And the picture that Charlie took became famous, even Charlie and Henry became famous just because they survived from the lava. And the lava that Charlie got it was still hot and bubbling. Charlie was keeping it in his room.
One day the two boys were going to pay at their neighbor’s house. When Mrs. Watson opened the door she said “Henry!”
“Mom!” Henry said
“Thank you very much Charlie! Thank you!” Mrs. Watson said.
Eleven years later they were still best friends! And the lava was still there!”
THE END.
(This is why I love my job.)
Sunday, September 16, 2007
a ticket to the coast...and, a side of enlightenment, please.
Friday afternoon I was completely exhausted. Every Friday at 3:30 I realize why when I was going through grade school and I'd ask my teacher "so, what do you have planned for this exciting Friday night?!" they'd usually respond "going to bed and sleeping until I have to be here on Monday morning". It's one thing to be exhausted from demanding physical activity like working out, construction work, etc. however, teaching is mentally exhausting. Though I am not lifting weights or pouring conrete each day- rather, I am telling David for the hundreth time that he can't use the classroom mat as his own personal boxing ring, that John needs to complete is own work instead of having his tutor do it for him, that DG can't eat in class, and Peter, yes, yes you can get a drink of water and that the sentence "I'm going to shopping" doesn't make any sense- and, neither does "I'm going to running," and that "Can I have?" isn't a complete sentence all while managing the classroom cheats and breaking up arguments. phew. So, yes- Friday afternoon is always a tiring point of the teacher's life.
And, of course- I continue to use Friday afternoons as a planning period for my weekend adventures instead of hopping in bed until Monday morning arrives. This past Friday, Mike, Sarah and I decided it was time to get away from the pollution and find nature. So, after a 5 minute discussion on where we should go and what we would do, we threw on some shorts, packed an overnight bag and hopped a train to Hua Hin (thanks to our handy dandy Thailand books that suggested our destination spot). The train ride was about $6 and took about 4 hours and we stayed at a tiny guest house on the beach. Having arrived at around midnight we had NO idea what the beach would even look like and really had no clue where on earth we were. We slept in REAL beds with mattresses Friday night and woke up to birds chirping and NO SMOG. That in and of itself was worth the 4 hour train ride...but then- we walked down a sandy path which led to the softest, whitest sandy beach my toes have ever touched.. the water was beautiful (the first body of CLEAN water I've seen...clean meaning: it wasn't murky and grey like the river and didn't smell of sewage). On the beach were lounge chairs that you could rent for the day for the small price of a bottle of water. We bought a couple bottles of water and were led to a group of chairs complete with an umbrella right in the middle of the beach. I couldn't believe it.. I looked up at the sky and in my heart thanked God for creating such a spectacular place for us to enjoy. To say the least, that beach reminded me that all of the world isn't as disgustingly polluted by smoke and people as Bangkok. Blue skies..white sands..AND, OH MY WORD. GREEN TREES AND MOUNTAINS- yes, that's right. A beach, AND mountains. I wanted to cry. Never having been to the west coast USA, Hawaii or any beach with a moutainous backdrop, this was my first experience of enjoying the two best components of nature..beach and mountains. I'd say it was the "love-child" of two of my US homes- Florida and North Carolina...and it's name is Hua Hin. Fabulous town..rich in many cultures as it's the hub for many travellers visiting the Gulf of Thailand. We enjoyed our afternoon and early evening on Saturday riding motorbikes through the mountains for less than $5. (Sorry I'm always talking about prices of things..but, everytime we do something we're always blown away at how cheap everything is to the point that we feel like we must tell everyone how absurdly valuable the US dollar is here!) So, Saturday was a fantastic day and ended with a 3hr bus ride back to Bangkok and a near-death experience in the backseat of a NASCAR taxi (or so it seemed). And here, here I sit in little Latphrao at an Internet cafe telling you of God's wonderous creation...
The four hour train ride on Friday afternoon gave me a chance to read my Thailand travel book I've been so anxious to study. The majority of the book suggests travel hot-spots and interesting monuments and temples to see (ugh, temples...I'm sick of them); however, in the back there's about a 20 page section on Thai religion. I've mentioned Buddhism several times in these posts, and how the practice and belief of buddhism completely perplexes my mind and heart. I've seen people giving gifts to the golden statues, bowing to images and monks, but- I didn't really know what it was all about..
Well- Buddhism is all about... death.
There's a belief in this "ladder" that every man climbs during their life of reincarnation. The top of the ladder is the ultimate goal: Nirvana, which is the final escape from the evils of the world and the hellish state of being alive on earth in a fleshly state. By doing good deeds and living close to the "middle way," one can earn and receive good merit during one lifetime that is basically used as points to climb a little bit higher on the ladder of reincarnation (getting closer to Nirvana with each reincarnation). The "Middle Way," is a set of standards that describes being a "good" person having loyalty, trust, honor, kindess and aiming towards a life of self-detatchment. Any ordinary man is obviously incapable of naturally achieving a state of this Middle Way perfection, which is why monks are the role models for common-man Buddhists. Monks dedicate their lives to living in detatchment from material possessions, and everything they have is donated by the buddhist believers and in exchange, the monks instruct the Buddhist believers how to live a life in order to follow the Middle Way so that hopefully, when the believers die, they'll be a few steps higher on the ladder of reincarnation, so that one day, hopefully, they'll finally be freed into the state of Nirvana.
Buddha was believed to have been reincarnated hundreds of times and around the 500th time, laid on his side in a restful pose and while in meditation, died and entered the state of Nirvana. The fact that Buddha reached Nirvana is what all the Buddhist religion is about. Nirvana itself is what they all want. They want freedom from themselves and freedom from the miserable task of life; however, the irony is the fact that they all believe that they'll never actually come close to Nirvana, because they'll never be good enough or live close enough to the Middle Way, and never earn enough good merit during their reincarnations to reach the state of rest and peace of Nirvana. Monks are believed to lead a lifestyle closest to the Middle Way; therefore, they are closer to Nirvana than common man; therefore, that is why they are respected (I also found out that any man can be a monk, and most buddhist men practice the monk lifestyle and live in the temples for about 3 mo. during their lifetime).
The life of detachment and denial is what they all aim for, and making merit is the only way to achieve the denied life (this is what all the Buddhist holidays are about). Buddhist holidays (they seem like they're almost everyday) give Buddhist men and women a chance to earn merit and make up for any merit they haven't had the time to earn, by- going to temples and giving money/food to monks, praying to Buddha and giving him gifts, releasing birds at the temples (seen as showing mercy and kindness to animals).. it's all about earning merit, and giving and doing "good" things on some sort of point scale. From what I've read, when they pray, it's not like they're asking Buddha to help them in any way (like I do when I pray to God)- instead, it's praising Buddha out of respect because he reached what they all want- eternal release and a final death to escape the imprisonment of their fleshly, earthly bodies.
So, the basics- they want death. They want release. They praise Buddha...but they don't pray for guidance and help. It's their own duty to live a life as close to "perfection" as possible with the hope that in their next lives, they'll be that much closer to Nirvana...they want release and detatchment.
My prayer is that having this brief knowledge will somehow guide my path in how to direct a conversation with a Buddhist. Rather than simply taking them for a "walk down the ol' Roman's road," I know what it is they're looking for in life and also in death. All I would really have to do is say that come their time of death, they are really going to die and die only once, but that sadly, their "Nirvana" will be much worse than imprisonment of flesh and in fact they'll be imprisoned somewhere far worse.
I could'nt imagine hating life. I couldn't imagine HAVING to hate life. I can't believe they are in search of death and believe they'll never get there..when really, it's all much closer than we think..
gulp.
And, of course- I continue to use Friday afternoons as a planning period for my weekend adventures instead of hopping in bed until Monday morning arrives. This past Friday, Mike, Sarah and I decided it was time to get away from the pollution and find nature. So, after a 5 minute discussion on where we should go and what we would do, we threw on some shorts, packed an overnight bag and hopped a train to Hua Hin (thanks to our handy dandy Thailand books that suggested our destination spot). The train ride was about $6 and took about 4 hours and we stayed at a tiny guest house on the beach. Having arrived at around midnight we had NO idea what the beach would even look like and really had no clue where on earth we were. We slept in REAL beds with mattresses Friday night and woke up to birds chirping and NO SMOG. That in and of itself was worth the 4 hour train ride...but then- we walked down a sandy path which led to the softest, whitest sandy beach my toes have ever touched.. the water was beautiful (the first body of CLEAN water I've seen...clean meaning: it wasn't murky and grey like the river and didn't smell of sewage). On the beach were lounge chairs that you could rent for the day for the small price of a bottle of water. We bought a couple bottles of water and were led to a group of chairs complete with an umbrella right in the middle of the beach. I couldn't believe it.. I looked up at the sky and in my heart thanked God for creating such a spectacular place for us to enjoy. To say the least, that beach reminded me that all of the world isn't as disgustingly polluted by smoke and people as Bangkok. Blue skies..white sands..AND, OH MY WORD. GREEN TREES AND MOUNTAINS- yes, that's right. A beach, AND mountains. I wanted to cry. Never having been to the west coast USA, Hawaii or any beach with a moutainous backdrop, this was my first experience of enjoying the two best components of nature..beach and mountains. I'd say it was the "love-child" of two of my US homes- Florida and North Carolina...and it's name is Hua Hin. Fabulous town..rich in many cultures as it's the hub for many travellers visiting the Gulf of Thailand. We enjoyed our afternoon and early evening on Saturday riding motorbikes through the mountains for less than $5. (Sorry I'm always talking about prices of things..but, everytime we do something we're always blown away at how cheap everything is to the point that we feel like we must tell everyone how absurdly valuable the US dollar is here!) So, Saturday was a fantastic day and ended with a 3hr bus ride back to Bangkok and a near-death experience in the backseat of a NASCAR taxi (or so it seemed). And here, here I sit in little Latphrao at an Internet cafe telling you of God's wonderous creation...
The four hour train ride on Friday afternoon gave me a chance to read my Thailand travel book I've been so anxious to study. The majority of the book suggests travel hot-spots and interesting monuments and temples to see (ugh, temples...I'm sick of them); however, in the back there's about a 20 page section on Thai religion. I've mentioned Buddhism several times in these posts, and how the practice and belief of buddhism completely perplexes my mind and heart. I've seen people giving gifts to the golden statues, bowing to images and monks, but- I didn't really know what it was all about..
Well- Buddhism is all about... death.
There's a belief in this "ladder" that every man climbs during their life of reincarnation. The top of the ladder is the ultimate goal: Nirvana, which is the final escape from the evils of the world and the hellish state of being alive on earth in a fleshly state. By doing good deeds and living close to the "middle way," one can earn and receive good merit during one lifetime that is basically used as points to climb a little bit higher on the ladder of reincarnation (getting closer to Nirvana with each reincarnation). The "Middle Way," is a set of standards that describes being a "good" person having loyalty, trust, honor, kindess and aiming towards a life of self-detatchment. Any ordinary man is obviously incapable of naturally achieving a state of this Middle Way perfection, which is why monks are the role models for common-man Buddhists. Monks dedicate their lives to living in detatchment from material possessions, and everything they have is donated by the buddhist believers and in exchange, the monks instruct the Buddhist believers how to live a life in order to follow the Middle Way so that hopefully, when the believers die, they'll be a few steps higher on the ladder of reincarnation, so that one day, hopefully, they'll finally be freed into the state of Nirvana.
Buddha was believed to have been reincarnated hundreds of times and around the 500th time, laid on his side in a restful pose and while in meditation, died and entered the state of Nirvana. The fact that Buddha reached Nirvana is what all the Buddhist religion is about. Nirvana itself is what they all want. They want freedom from themselves and freedom from the miserable task of life; however, the irony is the fact that they all believe that they'll never actually come close to Nirvana, because they'll never be good enough or live close enough to the Middle Way, and never earn enough good merit during their reincarnations to reach the state of rest and peace of Nirvana. Monks are believed to lead a lifestyle closest to the Middle Way; therefore, they are closer to Nirvana than common man; therefore, that is why they are respected (I also found out that any man can be a monk, and most buddhist men practice the monk lifestyle and live in the temples for about 3 mo. during their lifetime).
The life of detachment and denial is what they all aim for, and making merit is the only way to achieve the denied life (this is what all the Buddhist holidays are about). Buddhist holidays (they seem like they're almost everyday) give Buddhist men and women a chance to earn merit and make up for any merit they haven't had the time to earn, by- going to temples and giving money/food to monks, praying to Buddha and giving him gifts, releasing birds at the temples (seen as showing mercy and kindness to animals).. it's all about earning merit, and giving and doing "good" things on some sort of point scale. From what I've read, when they pray, it's not like they're asking Buddha to help them in any way (like I do when I pray to God)- instead, it's praising Buddha out of respect because he reached what they all want- eternal release and a final death to escape the imprisonment of their fleshly, earthly bodies.
So, the basics- they want death. They want release. They praise Buddha...but they don't pray for guidance and help. It's their own duty to live a life as close to "perfection" as possible with the hope that in their next lives, they'll be that much closer to Nirvana...they want release and detatchment.
My prayer is that having this brief knowledge will somehow guide my path in how to direct a conversation with a Buddhist. Rather than simply taking them for a "walk down the ol' Roman's road," I know what it is they're looking for in life and also in death. All I would really have to do is say that come their time of death, they are really going to die and die only once, but that sadly, their "Nirvana" will be much worse than imprisonment of flesh and in fact they'll be imprisoned somewhere far worse.
I could'nt imagine hating life. I couldn't imagine HAVING to hate life. I can't believe they are in search of death and believe they'll never get there..when really, it's all much closer than we think..
gulp.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
ponder ponder
hi, friends.
i'm not dead.
Oh, September. What is September minus cooler weather, long pants and beautiful sunsets..without newly sharpened number two pencils and spiced apple scent skippng across the drops of early morning dew? This- this is September in Bangkok.
Heat, smog, and a month of school in the past. This is September.
Over the last week I've started and deleted two blog posts and I find that I'm not exactly why I didn't post them. They were well-written, well-thought posts...informatively interesting and encompassed the details of my rather adventurous weekend excursions-
But, that's just it. Why was I writing about those things? Ponder, ponder.
Last weekend on the train ride to Ayutthaya I slipped in the ol earbuds of my iPod watching the metropolitan scenery of Bangkok vanish with each passing track as the train entered the land of ruins. Ayutthaya, Thailand's old capitol city- the city of devastation. Ayutthaya- where deserted buildings and headless buddhas are hidden beneath the rubble of ancient battles and foreigners come with their digital motivation and teva sandals seeking insight on Thai culture. Last weekend I had the first feeling of feeling like "they," (the foreigners,) were...well..annoying. I felt like a native. I felt Thai. I felt what it's like to have a culture exploited and used for nothing other than a backdrop for a picture. I felt like it was MY culture and the tourists were here only for self-seeking pleasure, a discount at the gift shop and then they'd pile into their jets and head back to "life".
Needless to say, I did not like this feeling..the feeling that I was experiencing some sort of identity crisis in that I've become accustomed to the Thai culture and attitude and that all that is America seems so distant if not lost. I've come to realize that the Thai people are quite deceptive as a whole. They are always looking to take advantage of you in any way possible (unless that is that you can speak a little Thai, and you prove you're not a touristing idiot with no sense of proper pricing and/or the Thai culture). And still, while these people seek to take advantage of tourists and visitors- they live such routine, empty robotic lifestyles, never in search for something greater. The greatest example of this that I can think of is their religious practicse. Buddhism accounts for 95% of the country's religious preference while Muslim practices account for the secnod largest views.
Buddhism is fascinating to me. During my time at Liberty several discussions concerning non-Christian beliefs usually ended with "..I believe it actually takes more faith to believe in something as ridiculous as '________________________'". These people...these "gods"...these...routines. It's insane what they do for these golden statues and yet they look for nothing that gives anything back that will actually save their lost souls.
The deception of the Thai people does not only play into pricing games when a tourist wants to buy a cheap elephant figurine at the markets; rather, deception is the foundation for their religion. They deceive themselves into believing that consistent prayer, offering and sacrifice to these empty gods will actually change their lives...and still, as their god continues to give them nothing in return- no hope, no love, no compassion, no grace, no salvation- they deceive each other, and their own hearts that one day...someday...something might be better.
I don't want to be here for thrills and week trips. I must admit that working in a school filled with Christian teachers, staff and students isn't as challenging as it is facing those that are lost in foolish religion... but, I want to change them. I want t help them. It's overwhelming...but I'm looking for something that I can do..that we can do...to stop the deceit-
this culture can deceive us....
making us think there's nothing beyond the country borders..nothing outside of this intense heat...to just live life until death, doing nothing to make anything better.
It's a bit depressing to watch these people and to live with them and see them, and find motivation from a God that is so absent in this city..
please pray.
pray for all of us.
God is bigger than culture.
i'm not dead.
Oh, September. What is September minus cooler weather, long pants and beautiful sunsets..without newly sharpened number two pencils and spiced apple scent skippng across the drops of early morning dew? This- this is September in Bangkok.
Heat, smog, and a month of school in the past. This is September.
Over the last week I've started and deleted two blog posts and I find that I'm not exactly why I didn't post them. They were well-written, well-thought posts...informatively interesting and encompassed the details of my rather adventurous weekend excursions-
But, that's just it. Why was I writing about those things? Ponder, ponder.
Last weekend on the train ride to Ayutthaya I slipped in the ol earbuds of my iPod watching the metropolitan scenery of Bangkok vanish with each passing track as the train entered the land of ruins. Ayutthaya, Thailand's old capitol city- the city of devastation. Ayutthaya- where deserted buildings and headless buddhas are hidden beneath the rubble of ancient battles and foreigners come with their digital motivation and teva sandals seeking insight on Thai culture. Last weekend I had the first feeling of feeling like "they," (the foreigners,) were...well..annoying. I felt like a native. I felt Thai. I felt what it's like to have a culture exploited and used for nothing other than a backdrop for a picture. I felt like it was MY culture and the tourists were here only for self-seeking pleasure, a discount at the gift shop and then they'd pile into their jets and head back to "life".
Needless to say, I did not like this feeling..the feeling that I was experiencing some sort of identity crisis in that I've become accustomed to the Thai culture and attitude and that all that is America seems so distant if not lost. I've come to realize that the Thai people are quite deceptive as a whole. They are always looking to take advantage of you in any way possible (unless that is that you can speak a little Thai, and you prove you're not a touristing idiot with no sense of proper pricing and/or the Thai culture). And still, while these people seek to take advantage of tourists and visitors- they live such routine, empty robotic lifestyles, never in search for something greater. The greatest example of this that I can think of is their religious practicse. Buddhism accounts for 95% of the country's religious preference while Muslim practices account for the secnod largest views.
Buddhism is fascinating to me. During my time at Liberty several discussions concerning non-Christian beliefs usually ended with "..I believe it actually takes more faith to believe in something as ridiculous as '________________________'". These people...these "gods"...these...routines. It's insane what they do for these golden statues and yet they look for nothing that gives anything back that will actually save their lost souls.
The deception of the Thai people does not only play into pricing games when a tourist wants to buy a cheap elephant figurine at the markets; rather, deception is the foundation for their religion. They deceive themselves into believing that consistent prayer, offering and sacrifice to these empty gods will actually change their lives...and still, as their god continues to give them nothing in return- no hope, no love, no compassion, no grace, no salvation- they deceive each other, and their own hearts that one day...someday...something might be better.
I don't want to be here for thrills and week trips. I must admit that working in a school filled with Christian teachers, staff and students isn't as challenging as it is facing those that are lost in foolish religion... but, I want to change them. I want t help them. It's overwhelming...but I'm looking for something that I can do..that we can do...to stop the deceit-
this culture can deceive us....
making us think there's nothing beyond the country borders..nothing outside of this intense heat...to just live life until death, doing nothing to make anything better.
It's a bit depressing to watch these people and to live with them and see them, and find motivation from a God that is so absent in this city..
please pray.
pray for all of us.
God is bigger than culture.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
oh, happy day
hi friends.
good news- I'M GETTING PAID THIS WEEK! (clapping.)
(more clapping. hollar. more hollaring.clap. clap).
Yes, I am very excited about this payday. You see, I've heard of the concept- that is, the concept of getting paid for completed work; however, my needy little bank account has yet to actually experience the bliss of automatically deposited baht. Oh, what joy this Friday will bring! Joy, I tell you! Joy! And if not pure joy, then pure convenience and pure freedom. The convenience to take advantage of other means of transportation besides by blistered, rather swollen size 8's, and the freedom to splurge and buy myself a dinner priced at over a dollar.
Mike, Sarah and I plan on joining a few fellow paupers in running out of our classrooms on Friday, rolling in our baht while dancing in the middle of the streets screaming "WE'RE NOT POOR ANYMORE!" After this, we're going to hit up this amazing restaurant we've never been able to afford while being here, priced at 180/baht per meal (we spend 30/baht for dinner every night). This restaurant was something Mike and I accidentally found on our late night excursion through the Old City area of Bangkok. Basically, it's this real "emo" (as Mike says) coffee shop/restaurant that serves the widest variety of food we've seen yet (compared to the rice and noodles that suffocate our lives). The menu ranges from pork chops/baked potatoes, and waffles and pancakes, to fish and chips, and specialty coffees. Our path will then lead to the mall where I'll attempt to find some pants that fit my very American butt. This task, I do realize, may never actually be accomplished as every piece of clothing here appears to be sized starting at zero and working deep down into double-digit negatives.
Until then, it's school time! Classes are going well, and I'm in the process of making up my first tests! eek! My students have named me the "fun teacher," which I actually think is middle school code for "she's a joke of a teacher, way too easy, and I don't have to study for her class". Well, may the Lord be with them while they battle their way through my exams. I know that I always used the first test to gauge how hard the teacher was, and Lord willing, these students will see that I might be "fun," but that I most certainly don't take the quality of their education as a joke. 8th grade awarded me this morning with the compliment of "Ms. Lauren, you're the teacher that interacts with us the most..." Now, that's a superlative that I don't mind identifying myself as.
Back to making up the tests... oh, bother.
good news- I'M GETTING PAID THIS WEEK! (clapping.)
(more clapping. hollar. more hollaring.clap. clap).
Yes, I am very excited about this payday. You see, I've heard of the concept- that is, the concept of getting paid for completed work; however, my needy little bank account has yet to actually experience the bliss of automatically deposited baht. Oh, what joy this Friday will bring! Joy, I tell you! Joy! And if not pure joy, then pure convenience and pure freedom. The convenience to take advantage of other means of transportation besides by blistered, rather swollen size 8's, and the freedom to splurge and buy myself a dinner priced at over a dollar.
Mike, Sarah and I plan on joining a few fellow paupers in running out of our classrooms on Friday, rolling in our baht while dancing in the middle of the streets screaming "WE'RE NOT POOR ANYMORE!" After this, we're going to hit up this amazing restaurant we've never been able to afford while being here, priced at 180/baht per meal (we spend 30/baht for dinner every night). This restaurant was something Mike and I accidentally found on our late night excursion through the Old City area of Bangkok. Basically, it's this real "emo" (as Mike says) coffee shop/restaurant that serves the widest variety of food we've seen yet (compared to the rice and noodles that suffocate our lives). The menu ranges from pork chops/baked potatoes, and waffles and pancakes, to fish and chips, and specialty coffees. Our path will then lead to the mall where I'll attempt to find some pants that fit my very American butt. This task, I do realize, may never actually be accomplished as every piece of clothing here appears to be sized starting at zero and working deep down into double-digit negatives.
Until then, it's school time! Classes are going well, and I'm in the process of making up my first tests! eek! My students have named me the "fun teacher," which I actually think is middle school code for "she's a joke of a teacher, way too easy, and I don't have to study for her class". Well, may the Lord be with them while they battle their way through my exams. I know that I always used the first test to gauge how hard the teacher was, and Lord willing, these students will see that I might be "fun," but that I most certainly don't take the quality of their education as a joke. 8th grade awarded me this morning with the compliment of "Ms. Lauren, you're the teacher that interacts with us the most..." Now, that's a superlative that I don't mind identifying myself as.
Back to making up the tests... oh, bother.
Monday, August 20, 2007
votes for the little Asian cavemen
hooray! national holiday!
though far from Thai, today, my inner Thainess is rejoicing that there's no school all thanks to the fact that today the Thai's vote on whether or not they're going to accept the newly written constitution or not. Government savvy? I'm anything but-
BUT, Mike says "the new constitution is a bit less democratic which at first sounded like a really. Allowing the government to have more of a say in anything seems like a bad idea; BUT, it's a good constitution.... i'd say go for it."
so, umm... there's the news.
back to life-
so, here i sit in an internet cafe as the ONLY person actually using the Internet for anything "useful". Embarassingly enough, no- facebook is not necessarily "useful"..BUT, I am using it as a portal to communicate with all those back the great US.
So, I apologize for the lack of new blog entries for all of you who so faithfully read this scripted nonsense I post. However, if my business degree is worth anything..the laws of supply and demand tell me that the less i write, the more YOU will want to read.
so, sorry.. business first ;) heh.
(this also being a lame excuse for my laziness and recent lack of clever wording and ability to post anything of worth). Though teaching English I do believe there's been some sort of opposite impact, whereas the Asian choppy English/grammar skills are influencing me more than my proper execution of the English language is influencing them. I find myself looking for shortcuts around the English language.. cutting well-needed words such as "the" and "I" out of spoken sentences.
I believe this Asian English could also be called:..... caveman.
yes, little Asian cavemen... "teacher, go to store, get book need for school".
okay. sure.
i'll go to store, get book..and then, teacher make fire.
speaking of fire, since the day school started my classroom has been filled with smokey residue and ash floating throughout the air. why? well... just so happens (like in Virginia,) when there's stuff around that no one wants- BURN IT!
Though in VA it's usually piles of leaves (or maybe, that was just on MaryAnn Dr.) but here, it's piles of desks, chairs and books. What a lovely playground backdrop.
We're out on the field playing "American football" (they think i'm really good. haha!) and off to the side of a mountain of old school supplies and furniture on fire! I remember that recess would be cancelled if there was a slight chance of rain- and here, they're creating forest fires and still the kids just run around it!
crazy.
so... friday night there was yet another long journey. the single kids: mike, myself, sarah and jen, decided that a five day week of babysitting and correcting papers wasn't enough to tire us out- so, we went walking through the city looking for adventure. we met a man on the sidewalk when we had our faces buried in a map of lies (the American tourist map for Bangkok. DON'T BUY IT,) and he told us this tale of a grand fireworks display in honor of mother's day (which in Thailand is actually mother's month).. so, we took every means of transportation to find this firey wonder. after the taxi was the subway. after the subway, the tuk-tuk (the glorified speedy little golf cart complete with decorations and open sides).
walking. walking. a little more walking. a blister on my foot. walk. another blister.
walk walk walk walk walk walk.
and,
no fireworks.
we've found what when asking directions, or, any question really, the common answer of thai's ends with whatever you want to hear-
We asked for directions to fireworks..and here's how the converstaion went:
S= silly Americans asking a Thai for directions
T= them. the thai's.
S: "excuse me, are there or aren't there fireworks around here tonight?"
T: "no."
S: "there aren't?"
T: "no. there are".
S: "there are! great? where?"
T: "nowhere".
S: "what? I thought they were around here..?"
T: "yes! yes, they are! they're ALL night long!"
S: "wow! all night?!"
T: "umm... they were at 10 o'clock"
S: "oh, so..we're too late.." (it was 11pm)
T: "no. 1 am. they're at 1 am, but not here"
S: "okay. 1 am. not here. where are they?" (showed them the map)
they pointed to a place. we foolishly followed the directed path.
needless to say- no fireworks. none at all.
and why? well.. the next thai we met said they were "last night. last night at 9.." (showed them the map)"..over there".
yea yea yea. i bet. i bet there were fireworks over there, at 9..
i think those might have been the new color of fireworks..: INVISIBLE!
Anyway, while walking through the city we went through Chinatown. Chinatown is basically just a big temple surrounded by many places to eat meat on a stick.
I've seen so many temples since I've been here. All I keep thinking when I pass these temples and see people offering overflowing baskets of gifts- flowers, food and money..how they pray ALL the time- such dedication, ritual and routine..and still SO LOST.
So lost that they either cover their heads or uncover their feet to visit these so-called "gods". So much worship. So much lost, aimless worship. I stand with my camera in hand snapping a picture when possible, and everytime I do I'm lost at how dedicated these people are to these idols.. their gods..their gods of nothing.
the god of fertility? of passion? of peace? healing? And their faith?
I keep thinking, what good is faith apart from God? What good is faith in SOMETHING and not someone? something. some. thing. a thing that cannot give peace. a thing that cannot give rest.. these things that cannot give salvation.
Instead of neglecting their blind pursuits in disgust.. I am challenged. I believe and trust in the ONLY GOD..and ONLY Creator and ONLY Savior- and yet, here I am.
I pray when I feel like praying. I read His word when I "have the time" to. My faith is so dependent on convenience, and yet, these people blinded by golden idols are so inconvenienced by their religion. Praying several times a day, offering everything to something that will never give in return...
where is my spiritual offering? where are my buckets, my gifts and my flowers? where is my never-ceasing prayer? WHERE IS MY FAITH?
Though their faith is blind, their faith is strong.
strong in nothing.
My faith is rooted in grace and salvation through Jesus Christ.. and yet, at times, my life is just as much a blinded maze as theirs. An endless maze when it is I who puts on the blindfold to lead the way...
though far from Thai, today, my inner Thainess is rejoicing that there's no school all thanks to the fact that today the Thai's vote on whether or not they're going to accept the newly written constitution or not. Government savvy? I'm anything but-
BUT, Mike says "the new constitution is a bit less democratic which at first sounded like a really. Allowing the government to have more of a say in anything seems like a bad idea; BUT, it's a good constitution.... i'd say go for it."
so, umm... there's the news.
back to life-
so, here i sit in an internet cafe as the ONLY person actually using the Internet for anything "useful". Embarassingly enough, no- facebook is not necessarily "useful"..BUT, I am using it as a portal to communicate with all those back the great US.
So, I apologize for the lack of new blog entries for all of you who so faithfully read this scripted nonsense I post. However, if my business degree is worth anything..the laws of supply and demand tell me that the less i write, the more YOU will want to read.
so, sorry.. business first ;) heh.
(this also being a lame excuse for my laziness and recent lack of clever wording and ability to post anything of worth). Though teaching English I do believe there's been some sort of opposite impact, whereas the Asian choppy English/grammar skills are influencing me more than my proper execution of the English language is influencing them. I find myself looking for shortcuts around the English language.. cutting well-needed words such as "the" and "I" out of spoken sentences.
I believe this Asian English could also be called:..... caveman.
yes, little Asian cavemen... "teacher, go to store, get book need for school".
okay. sure.
i'll go to store, get book..and then, teacher make fire.
speaking of fire, since the day school started my classroom has been filled with smokey residue and ash floating throughout the air. why? well... just so happens (like in Virginia,) when there's stuff around that no one wants- BURN IT!
Though in VA it's usually piles of leaves (or maybe, that was just on MaryAnn Dr.) but here, it's piles of desks, chairs and books. What a lovely playground backdrop.
We're out on the field playing "American football" (they think i'm really good. haha!) and off to the side of a mountain of old school supplies and furniture on fire! I remember that recess would be cancelled if there was a slight chance of rain- and here, they're creating forest fires and still the kids just run around it!
crazy.
so... friday night there was yet another long journey. the single kids: mike, myself, sarah and jen, decided that a five day week of babysitting and correcting papers wasn't enough to tire us out- so, we went walking through the city looking for adventure. we met a man on the sidewalk when we had our faces buried in a map of lies (the American tourist map for Bangkok. DON'T BUY IT,) and he told us this tale of a grand fireworks display in honor of mother's day (which in Thailand is actually mother's month).. so, we took every means of transportation to find this firey wonder. after the taxi was the subway. after the subway, the tuk-tuk (the glorified speedy little golf cart complete with decorations and open sides).
walking. walking. a little more walking. a blister on my foot. walk. another blister.
walk walk walk walk walk walk.
and,
no fireworks.
we've found what when asking directions, or, any question really, the common answer of thai's ends with whatever you want to hear-
We asked for directions to fireworks..and here's how the converstaion went:
S= silly Americans asking a Thai for directions
T= them. the thai's.
S: "excuse me, are there or aren't there fireworks around here tonight?"
T: "no."
S: "there aren't?"
T: "no. there are".
S: "there are! great? where?"
T: "nowhere".
S: "what? I thought they were around here..?"
T: "yes! yes, they are! they're ALL night long!"
S: "wow! all night?!"
T: "umm... they were at 10 o'clock"
S: "oh, so..we're too late.." (it was 11pm)
T: "no. 1 am. they're at 1 am, but not here"
S: "okay. 1 am. not here. where are they?" (showed them the map)
they pointed to a place. we foolishly followed the directed path.
needless to say- no fireworks. none at all.
and why? well.. the next thai we met said they were "last night. last night at 9.." (showed them the map)"..over there".
yea yea yea. i bet. i bet there were fireworks over there, at 9..
i think those might have been the new color of fireworks..: INVISIBLE!
Anyway, while walking through the city we went through Chinatown. Chinatown is basically just a big temple surrounded by many places to eat meat on a stick.
I've seen so many temples since I've been here. All I keep thinking when I pass these temples and see people offering overflowing baskets of gifts- flowers, food and money..how they pray ALL the time- such dedication, ritual and routine..and still SO LOST.
So lost that they either cover their heads or uncover their feet to visit these so-called "gods". So much worship. So much lost, aimless worship. I stand with my camera in hand snapping a picture when possible, and everytime I do I'm lost at how dedicated these people are to these idols.. their gods..their gods of nothing.
the god of fertility? of passion? of peace? healing? And their faith?
I keep thinking, what good is faith apart from God? What good is faith in SOMETHING and not someone? something. some. thing. a thing that cannot give peace. a thing that cannot give rest.. these things that cannot give salvation.
Instead of neglecting their blind pursuits in disgust.. I am challenged. I believe and trust in the ONLY GOD..and ONLY Creator and ONLY Savior- and yet, here I am.
I pray when I feel like praying. I read His word when I "have the time" to. My faith is so dependent on convenience, and yet, these people blinded by golden idols are so inconvenienced by their religion. Praying several times a day, offering everything to something that will never give in return...
where is my spiritual offering? where are my buckets, my gifts and my flowers? where is my never-ceasing prayer? WHERE IS MY FAITH?
Though their faith is blind, their faith is strong.
strong in nothing.
My faith is rooted in grace and salvation through Jesus Christ.. and yet, at times, my life is just as much a blinded maze as theirs. An endless maze when it is I who puts on the blindfold to lead the way...
Monday, August 13, 2007
hello, my name is....
Ms. Lauren.
And now, I'm officially a teacher. After a small initiation ceremony and the completion of a four day lesson-planning session I'm apparently ready to go (i think). Can you feel my sense of doubt?
I must admit my doubt is such a strong competitor against my will. I've had a mountain of books dropped in front of me on a desk full of objects foreign to my everyday use-and now I must teach. i MUST teach, and teach well. i MUST TEACH WELL is what i keep circling throughout my clouded mind. hazed by uncertainties and unfamiliar routine, i will teach..and i will teach well.
in a blatent confession I must share with you that I have never had a desire to teach. ever. EVER. while the dizzy dance of college awarded my well-studied efforts with a business degree, i never imagined that my corporate tower would be built of construction paper and "super!" stickers rather than steel beams and tinted glass panels. vulnerably stepping out on a limb here- i don't really want to teach..still. my mother calls out: "Lauren, I don't understand you. Are you going to Thailand because you don't have anything else to do? ..to travel?... It makes no sense. You never had an interest in teaching..."
She's right. I never did have an interest in teaching. I still don't. I'll admit this proudly..because it's the truth. As an easily overwhelmed human (aka: a woman,) teaching seems to be the most stressful, time-consuming, exhausting, aggravating migrane I could ever encounter. If given the choice of a line-up of jobs, teaching would probably be my LAST choice. So last, that it'd be the last of the last. double last. super last. ULTIMATELY last.
I realized this past week that this is exactly why I'm here. I'm here in Bangkok because I didn't want to come and teach.
It makes no sense to me whatsoever that in less than two months I was hired, had completed the paperwork (the pages and pages of paperwork,) had various forms of employment to pay for the trip and still had time to create the most amazing memoir of laughs and cries with those I love before departing sweet, sweet America.
oh, America.
Of course, the idea of traveling to southeast Asia, integrating my American self into all that is foreign and the opportunitiy for 5 dollar massages was attractive- so, why not go to Thailand? Though these ideas of pampered pleasures are enough to wet my travel appetite- they're not great enough to make me want to leave my ridiculously pregnant sister, beautiful nephew, loving parents, comfort and sense of home.
oh, home.
nothing is greater than what brought me here to Bangkok... and this- this, is why I'm here::
God.
though the doubting words of my mother (sorry, mom) were at times partially convincing..words weighted heavy, carrying the message that I had an absurd idea to come half way across the world just to figure myself out and that I was commiting to a form of employment I've never been passionate about. Her words tickling my naturally indecisive nature.. "until you step on that plane, it's never to late to just stay here [charlotte]," she'd say.
oh, charlotte.
i WANTED to stay. oh, how i wanted to stay. I WANT to sit on my sister's porch tomorrow, grass-stained knees tucked under the table of gifts and cake- intently watching colsen celebrate life. I WANT to come...I WANT to go...I WANT to come and go as i please (in my OWN car).. I WANT to comfortably cross my feet on the weathered coffee table next to my favorite size 5's and watch reruns of The Office. Seven numbers. I WANT to dial only seven numbers on the phone and hear the sweet sound of a familiar voice on the other end, and oh..oh, how I WANT the sterile glare of florescent bulbs as i wait in anticipation for God to bring my new nephew into my life... I WANT all these things. who wouldn't?
oh, who wouldn't.
but, finally. I gave in. I give in.
The words of a daily friend, Oswald Chambers echo through my head: "the only right we have, is the right to ourselves..." and "We must give up the right to ourselves to Him completely in order to be completely His. We must understand and be living like we are no longer our own. We must allow our lives to be completely at His disposal".
the things I WANT are finally being replaced by the things HE WANTS.
Though difficult, I am flattered that God wants ME to be here doing all of this...
all of this that HE WANTS.
And now, I'm officially a teacher. After a small initiation ceremony and the completion of a four day lesson-planning session I'm apparently ready to go (i think). Can you feel my sense of doubt?
I must admit my doubt is such a strong competitor against my will. I've had a mountain of books dropped in front of me on a desk full of objects foreign to my everyday use-and now I must teach. i MUST teach, and teach well. i MUST TEACH WELL is what i keep circling throughout my clouded mind. hazed by uncertainties and unfamiliar routine, i will teach..and i will teach well.
in a blatent confession I must share with you that I have never had a desire to teach. ever. EVER. while the dizzy dance of college awarded my well-studied efforts with a business degree, i never imagined that my corporate tower would be built of construction paper and "super!" stickers rather than steel beams and tinted glass panels. vulnerably stepping out on a limb here- i don't really want to teach..still. my mother calls out: "Lauren, I don't understand you. Are you going to Thailand because you don't have anything else to do? ..to travel?... It makes no sense. You never had an interest in teaching..."
She's right. I never did have an interest in teaching. I still don't. I'll admit this proudly..because it's the truth. As an easily overwhelmed human (aka: a woman,) teaching seems to be the most stressful, time-consuming, exhausting, aggravating migrane I could ever encounter. If given the choice of a line-up of jobs, teaching would probably be my LAST choice. So last, that it'd be the last of the last. double last. super last. ULTIMATELY last.
I realized this past week that this is exactly why I'm here. I'm here in Bangkok because I didn't want to come and teach.
It makes no sense to me whatsoever that in less than two months I was hired, had completed the paperwork (the pages and pages of paperwork,) had various forms of employment to pay for the trip and still had time to create the most amazing memoir of laughs and cries with those I love before departing sweet, sweet America.
oh, America.
Of course, the idea of traveling to southeast Asia, integrating my American self into all that is foreign and the opportunitiy for 5 dollar massages was attractive- so, why not go to Thailand? Though these ideas of pampered pleasures are enough to wet my travel appetite- they're not great enough to make me want to leave my ridiculously pregnant sister, beautiful nephew, loving parents, comfort and sense of home.
oh, home.
nothing is greater than what brought me here to Bangkok... and this- this, is why I'm here::
God.
though the doubting words of my mother (sorry, mom) were at times partially convincing..words weighted heavy, carrying the message that I had an absurd idea to come half way across the world just to figure myself out and that I was commiting to a form of employment I've never been passionate about. Her words tickling my naturally indecisive nature.. "until you step on that plane, it's never to late to just stay here [charlotte]," she'd say.
oh, charlotte.
i WANTED to stay. oh, how i wanted to stay. I WANT to sit on my sister's porch tomorrow, grass-stained knees tucked under the table of gifts and cake- intently watching colsen celebrate life. I WANT to come...I WANT to go...I WANT to come and go as i please (in my OWN car).. I WANT to comfortably cross my feet on the weathered coffee table next to my favorite size 5's and watch reruns of The Office. Seven numbers. I WANT to dial only seven numbers on the phone and hear the sweet sound of a familiar voice on the other end, and oh..oh, how I WANT the sterile glare of florescent bulbs as i wait in anticipation for God to bring my new nephew into my life... I WANT all these things. who wouldn't?
oh, who wouldn't.
but, finally. I gave in. I give in.
The words of a daily friend, Oswald Chambers echo through my head: "the only right we have, is the right to ourselves..." and "We must give up the right to ourselves to Him completely in order to be completely His. We must understand and be living like we are no longer our own. We must allow our lives to be completely at His disposal".
the things I WANT are finally being replaced by the things HE WANTS.
Though difficult, I am flattered that God wants ME to be here doing all of this...
all of this that HE WANTS.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
la dee daa...
hi friends. hi family. hello, blog.
seems as though i've been dodging this white screen and blinking cursor, attempting to avoid remembering the things I've done thus far and recording them here for you.
for those of you who have been so anxiously awaiting these miraculous words of wisdom and life experience from me, i apologize. i apologize not for the wait, but for your lack of patience as the art of patience is the first character trait one must master in order to survive in Thailand.
Let this be your first lesson. ;)
All kidding aside, it's been great thus far. I've been assigned the homeroom teacher for grade 5 and so i can decorate the grade 5 room as "my own". I finished decorating and organizing things today and tomorrow I will spend the rest of the day organizing my lesson plans. (ugh). At this very moment I would like to personally honor all of the following::
Ms. June- for letting me play with shaving cream
Mrs. Oscarson- for reading Spot books
Mrs. Katcherowski (i never could spell your name)- for her patience with me
Mrs. Meisenzahl- for giving me my first after school detention (instilling fear)
Mrs. Golet- for giving me my second detention. and third. and fourth. and so on.
Mrs. Gorman- for having the coolest laugh, EVER.
Mrs. O'Malley- for being the sweetest being on the face of this earth.
Mr. Sczymkowitz- for being a "FUN-GI". hah.
Mrs. Booth- for expecting a lot from me.
Mr. Hyland- you're an inspiration and i admire your love for God and your family (AND, I have quotes you shared with us hanging in my classroom: "the most important thought that you will ever think, is what you think, when you think about God because it will determine every other aspect of your existence")
Miss Marks- for being a friend to me my first year of high school
Mrs. Velaustagui- for giving me a hard time while always pushing me to achieve more..i miss you!
Mrs. Stewart- for your dedication and hard work in everything (and giving me a passing grade in chemistry..)
Mrs. Potter- for your strength and teaching me that cat veins and arteries really can be cool
Professor Marybeth Davis: for deepening my love for literature (and for thoroughly assessing literary works..)AND for the encouraging little comments you'd always write on my papers
Professor George Young: you're the man. thank you for EVERYTHING YOU DO...
Professor Paul Young: for your friendship and conern for your students' future
Professor Edward Edmond: for being so critical of artwork and determined to mold great artists
Professor Timothy Van Voorhis: for somehow tricking me in to really loving Statistics.
Professor Edward Moore: for "WHY WHY WHY"-ing me to death and challenging me more than I've ever been challenged by picking my brain until it almost bled business sense.
These are all the teachers I believe have greatly influenced my life since preschool. If I've forgotten someone...I really do apologize.
So, back to business here. Ah, yes...to all of them- THANK YOU. And why? Because teaching seems to be the most time-consuming, exhausting process EVER..and somehow they all managed to do this job well (even with me, the "disruptive, doesn't listen and follow directions" girl).
My classroom has a nature theme..I've drawn tree branches, suns, moons, the sea- anything i could do to fill up bulletin boards. I've done all i could to avoid resulting to the "shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" deal. I've put up several quotes around the room and plan on addressing them during english lectures... words of wisdom from John Piper, the Bible and pastor Jon Dupin from Brentwood Church in Lynchburg, VA. I figure these kids could actually use some practical advice rather than advice everyone seems to be fed in classrooms these days.
it's weird to be the one with the "teacher's desk". i remember how off-limits this area always was growing up. it's never like i really was that interested in what liquid was floating around in the Big Gulp plastic mug, or what type of crackers were stored in the bottom drawer for secret teacher snacktime... i just wanted to touch things on the desk because i wasn't supposed to... i just wanted to stick my hands in the top drawers and mess up all the pens and pencils collecting the spare change that somehow found it's way into the rubber band collection and go buy myself a coke in the forbidden teacher's lounge. what were they doing in there? what was lounging?
can i lounge now? ....will there be coke?
such curosity i have.
..apparently i'm also part yoda.
honestly, i've been thinking of everything i could do until 3:30 when i get to leave this library, and well...the time is here. i believe i'm going to unstick my thighs from this vinyl chair and go find myself a cold drink.
first, i'll check the teacher's lounge.
maybe they give out free money there, too.
seems as though i've been dodging this white screen and blinking cursor, attempting to avoid remembering the things I've done thus far and recording them here for you.
for those of you who have been so anxiously awaiting these miraculous words of wisdom and life experience from me, i apologize. i apologize not for the wait, but for your lack of patience as the art of patience is the first character trait one must master in order to survive in Thailand.
Let this be your first lesson. ;)
All kidding aside, it's been great thus far. I've been assigned the homeroom teacher for grade 5 and so i can decorate the grade 5 room as "my own". I finished decorating and organizing things today and tomorrow I will spend the rest of the day organizing my lesson plans. (ugh). At this very moment I would like to personally honor all of the following::
Ms. June- for letting me play with shaving cream
Mrs. Oscarson- for reading Spot books
Mrs. Katcherowski (i never could spell your name)- for her patience with me
Mrs. Meisenzahl- for giving me my first after school detention (instilling fear)
Mrs. Golet- for giving me my second detention. and third. and fourth. and so on.
Mrs. Gorman- for having the coolest laugh, EVER.
Mrs. O'Malley- for being the sweetest being on the face of this earth.
Mr. Sczymkowitz- for being a "FUN-GI". hah.
Mrs. Booth- for expecting a lot from me.
Mr. Hyland- you're an inspiration and i admire your love for God and your family (AND, I have quotes you shared with us hanging in my classroom: "the most important thought that you will ever think, is what you think, when you think about God because it will determine every other aspect of your existence")
Miss Marks- for being a friend to me my first year of high school
Mrs. Velaustagui- for giving me a hard time while always pushing me to achieve more..i miss you!
Mrs. Stewart- for your dedication and hard work in everything (and giving me a passing grade in chemistry..)
Mrs. Potter- for your strength and teaching me that cat veins and arteries really can be cool
Professor Marybeth Davis: for deepening my love for literature (and for thoroughly assessing literary works..)AND for the encouraging little comments you'd always write on my papers
Professor George Young: you're the man. thank you for EVERYTHING YOU DO...
Professor Paul Young: for your friendship and conern for your students' future
Professor Edward Edmond: for being so critical of artwork and determined to mold great artists
Professor Timothy Van Voorhis: for somehow tricking me in to really loving Statistics.
Professor Edward Moore: for "WHY WHY WHY"-ing me to death and challenging me more than I've ever been challenged by picking my brain until it almost bled business sense.
These are all the teachers I believe have greatly influenced my life since preschool. If I've forgotten someone...I really do apologize.
So, back to business here. Ah, yes...to all of them- THANK YOU. And why? Because teaching seems to be the most time-consuming, exhausting process EVER..and somehow they all managed to do this job well (even with me, the "disruptive, doesn't listen and follow directions" girl).
My classroom has a nature theme..I've drawn tree branches, suns, moons, the sea- anything i could do to fill up bulletin boards. I've done all i could to avoid resulting to the "shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" deal. I've put up several quotes around the room and plan on addressing them during english lectures... words of wisdom from John Piper, the Bible and pastor Jon Dupin from Brentwood Church in Lynchburg, VA. I figure these kids could actually use some practical advice rather than advice everyone seems to be fed in classrooms these days.
it's weird to be the one with the "teacher's desk". i remember how off-limits this area always was growing up. it's never like i really was that interested in what liquid was floating around in the Big Gulp plastic mug, or what type of crackers were stored in the bottom drawer for secret teacher snacktime... i just wanted to touch things on the desk because i wasn't supposed to... i just wanted to stick my hands in the top drawers and mess up all the pens and pencils collecting the spare change that somehow found it's way into the rubber band collection and go buy myself a coke in the forbidden teacher's lounge. what were they doing in there? what was lounging?
can i lounge now? ....will there be coke?
such curosity i have.
..apparently i'm also part yoda.
honestly, i've been thinking of everything i could do until 3:30 when i get to leave this library, and well...the time is here. i believe i'm going to unstick my thighs from this vinyl chair and go find myself a cold drink.
first, i'll check the teacher's lounge.
maybe they give out free money there, too.
Friday, August 3, 2007
backpacks and afterschool snacks.
FINALLY! FINALLY! FINALLY! hark! rejoice!
after being here in the sweaty city for almost 2 weeks I have finally been assigned what classes I am going to teach: (AND, I was assigned exactly what I had requested.)
My schedule is as follows:
English: grades 5,8,9
Art: grades 3-9
Computers: 5-6 (everyone has to teach a computer class..)
Also, I will be an advisor for the performing arts club (we combined choir and drama into one club and clubs will meet once a week.
So, my classroom is actually being painted right now (I'm the homeroom teacher for grade 5) with duties that include checking homework/attendance etc. The grade 5 classroom is "my" classroom and I can decorate/arrange it as I please. The subjects that I teach for grade 5 are English and Art, so I will instruct those classes in my classroom, and then change classrooms for the other grades that I teach.
We are supposed to make up a list of supplies that we would like the school to purchase for us to use during the first quarter..this should be a trip! I'm trying to think of things my elementary school teachers did that I liked so I can try and do the same things. I was always the girl in class thinking "oh, he/she should have done this...or, I can't stand this story! We should have read this.." yadda yadda yadda. So, all I'm going to be doing this weekend is thinking of the should haves and shouldn't haves and trying to compile some sort of teaching ideas.
Also, it seems that I've been chosen to participate in Sunday morning worship here for the English service. I'll be playing guitar and singing (with Pastor Mike from the Phillipines)... I was very hesitant at first as the only place I really like to sing/play is in a really nice, echoing bathroom/tub...but Pastor Mike said in his broken English: "what? if you have talent, you must be talented for God. You be talents for God?"
So, Yes Pastor Mike. I be talents for God.
Between Sunday morning/weds. night worship, club leader and teacher of 3 different subjects I think I'm going to be rather busy here...
So, update (I'm trying to make this quick because my legs are sweaty and sticking to the leather on this chair..eww).. Last night I took the adventure of a lifetime. I went with my friend Mike to Tesco/Lotus (a walmart/target like store) because he needed to get some sheets...so, we were going to take a taxi until MIke said "no! the motorcycles! they're cheaper!".
"cheaper, you say?" I replied.."I'm in."
OH MY WORD.
These motorcycles weave in and out of rush hour traffic and have nowhere to hold onto..most of the women sit side-saddle (in this case, I wasn't about to be lady like for the sake of my life)..so i hopped on one motorcycle and mike on another. we're not supposed to hold onto the driver, just sit on our hands and balance or hold on to the bottom of our seats when we go fast.
i think i peed my pants a little.
AND, they over charged us. it was probably the scariest ride i've ever been on (busch gardens has got nothin' on that ride..).
needless to say-
i'll definitely be doing that again.
(sorry, mom).
so, that's all for now.
one more hour and then i get to go back to the apartment and stop sweating for awhile. I believe I'm going to some bizzare tonight (a market with street vendors, etc.) but, we'll see. so...until whenever i get to use internet again-
all my love.
after being here in the sweaty city for almost 2 weeks I have finally been assigned what classes I am going to teach: (AND, I was assigned exactly what I had requested.)
My schedule is as follows:
English: grades 5,8,9
Art: grades 3-9
Computers: 5-6 (everyone has to teach a computer class..)
Also, I will be an advisor for the performing arts club (we combined choir and drama into one club and clubs will meet once a week.
So, my classroom is actually being painted right now (I'm the homeroom teacher for grade 5) with duties that include checking homework/attendance etc. The grade 5 classroom is "my" classroom and I can decorate/arrange it as I please. The subjects that I teach for grade 5 are English and Art, so I will instruct those classes in my classroom, and then change classrooms for the other grades that I teach.
We are supposed to make up a list of supplies that we would like the school to purchase for us to use during the first quarter..this should be a trip! I'm trying to think of things my elementary school teachers did that I liked so I can try and do the same things. I was always the girl in class thinking "oh, he/she should have done this...or, I can't stand this story! We should have read this.." yadda yadda yadda. So, all I'm going to be doing this weekend is thinking of the should haves and shouldn't haves and trying to compile some sort of teaching ideas.
Also, it seems that I've been chosen to participate in Sunday morning worship here for the English service. I'll be playing guitar and singing (with Pastor Mike from the Phillipines)... I was very hesitant at first as the only place I really like to sing/play is in a really nice, echoing bathroom/tub...but Pastor Mike said in his broken English: "what? if you have talent, you must be talented for God. You be talents for God?"
So, Yes Pastor Mike. I be talents for God.
Between Sunday morning/weds. night worship, club leader and teacher of 3 different subjects I think I'm going to be rather busy here...
So, update (I'm trying to make this quick because my legs are sweaty and sticking to the leather on this chair..eww).. Last night I took the adventure of a lifetime. I went with my friend Mike to Tesco/Lotus (a walmart/target like store) because he needed to get some sheets...so, we were going to take a taxi until MIke said "no! the motorcycles! they're cheaper!".
"cheaper, you say?" I replied.."I'm in."
OH MY WORD.
These motorcycles weave in and out of rush hour traffic and have nowhere to hold onto..most of the women sit side-saddle (in this case, I wasn't about to be lady like for the sake of my life)..so i hopped on one motorcycle and mike on another. we're not supposed to hold onto the driver, just sit on our hands and balance or hold on to the bottom of our seats when we go fast.
i think i peed my pants a little.
AND, they over charged us. it was probably the scariest ride i've ever been on (busch gardens has got nothin' on that ride..).
needless to say-
i'll definitely be doing that again.
(sorry, mom).
so, that's all for now.
one more hour and then i get to go back to the apartment and stop sweating for awhile. I believe I'm going to some bizzare tonight (a market with street vendors, etc.) but, we'll see. so...until whenever i get to use internet again-
all my love.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
handy dandy phrase book
FINALLY. Internet. How I've missed you so.
Weekends at BGIS= NO INTERNET. Why? No library access; therefore, no internet. But, I've found this sweet little internet cafe about 1/4 from the school.
Alright...so, things have been interesting here lately..it's been from one extreme to another. Saturday morning I woke up with the teachers from the English Vision Camp (hosted by BGIS) and we went over to the cafeteria at the school for breakfast. Bob Evans..how I miss you. I enjoyed a lovely breakfast feast of eggs and rice with a side of hot dog (?) I think? At that point, I didn't care. I tend to get very hungry around this place, so when the food is served, it's chow time.."hot dogs" and eggs? WHY NOT!..though, i'm sure is somthing more like "hot cats" if ya catch my drift. Later that afternoon we met at the school and were separated into groups (one american teacher and two thai people) for the Saturday afternoon outreach. We scattered among the city delivering information about the upcoming mother's day sunday (this coming sunday) at our church. Mothers are invited to come and bring their children and stay for a lunch afterwards. We left the school grounds in school vans which brought us down the craziest, skinniest streets (TWO LANE) I've ever been on in my life. The van came to an abrupt stop and the two women I was with (one very pushy Korean and the sweetest Thai woman) led me through a broken fence, around a swampy river to a local village. There were children gathered around a tree, hitting the trunk of the tree with a stick and yelling some sort of rythmic tune (a game I guess...looked like more fun than I was having) hah. The children led us to their houses- and that's when I became speechless. These homes were literally trash mosaics...anything from candy wrappers, scrap car bumpers to drift wood was nailed and taped together for shelter. There were on average about five people living in each home. We'd knock on the door and usually the mom of the house would open the door with a huge smile on her face (i keep changing tenses, so i'm changing again to make this easier): a woman opened the door with a huge smile on her face. She bowed her head offered a "sawatdee kaa" to us and listened to what we had to say. The woman offered us something to eat and drink. I couldn't believe in this situation, a five person family, and she's offering us something. Out of politeness I accepted. She gave me hot tea and corn on the kob (not too bad, actually). I was just going to smile, hold onto it and not eat it..but she waited for me to bite into it (sort of like the woman from the wedding singer with the meatballs) so, I, as adam sandler, bit into the corn and what a sweet surprise. anyway, these living conditions were far worse than any help-the-children commercial i've ever seen. the smell was horrific and still, there were televisions in each home and a brand new, clean vehicle outside most of the homes. No one could speak english (of course) but when I heard the two women I was with say "America" I knew they were talking about me, and I'd smile and nod. I had a bag of "cracker and cream" snacks that I dispensed to the children and was amazed at the fact that as I'd hold out the snack for them to take, these filthy children would take a step back, bow their heads and thank me before they'd accept the gift- that's it. if i have kids, i'm raising them here.
Anyway..we did that for about 4 hours then ate dinner at a nearby japanese restaurant. We took a 5 min. taxi ride to this ENORMOUS mall to eat..there's a million malls around here (filled with the same stuff...whitening creams, little shoes and yellow shirts). This mall was nicer than anything I've ever seen..we all walked around in shock because of what we had seen earlier yesterday afternoon. So far this is the city of surprises... An area we visited today had a Ferrari dealer and Versace stores..and 15 minutes away are people living under old banners and paper roofs...it's ridiculously confusing how poverty works.
Today was church. All I can say about that experience is that is was very long and very confusing. The school/church is run by Korean missionaries, so the church service is in korean then translated into thai, then into english. SO, it takes about 3 times as long to get the word across. When we read scripture, it's outloud because that's how they believe God hears us speak/pray..so, three languages at once- what a party!
Finally today I bought a thai phrase book and began to read it in the taxi on the way back the dorm. There's informative info in there about dialects and tones of speech...key phrases, words, numbers..etc. Very useful things..until, the page I came across that had key phrases written out that one might use on a trip..
for example, I can now say "I'm looking for fisherman pants" and "you're only using me for sex" in thai...hmm, I now vow to use both of those phrases at least once everyday that I am here (to practice my thai, of course).
hah! Also, that taxi ride ended abruptly when our taxi got a flat tire and we had to change cars in the middle of traffic.
Anyway, there's apparently a movie theatre around here with Die Hard playing at it (it might be in Thai)..but, that makes it more fun.
..maybe they'll have fisherman pants there.
I'll get you pair too, don't worry.
Weekends at BGIS= NO INTERNET. Why? No library access; therefore, no internet. But, I've found this sweet little internet cafe about 1/4 from the school.
Alright...so, things have been interesting here lately..it's been from one extreme to another. Saturday morning I woke up with the teachers from the English Vision Camp (hosted by BGIS) and we went over to the cafeteria at the school for breakfast. Bob Evans..how I miss you. I enjoyed a lovely breakfast feast of eggs and rice with a side of hot dog (?) I think? At that point, I didn't care. I tend to get very hungry around this place, so when the food is served, it's chow time.."hot dogs" and eggs? WHY NOT!..though, i'm sure is somthing more like "hot cats" if ya catch my drift. Later that afternoon we met at the school and were separated into groups (one american teacher and two thai people) for the Saturday afternoon outreach. We scattered among the city delivering information about the upcoming mother's day sunday (this coming sunday) at our church. Mothers are invited to come and bring their children and stay for a lunch afterwards. We left the school grounds in school vans which brought us down the craziest, skinniest streets (TWO LANE) I've ever been on in my life. The van came to an abrupt stop and the two women I was with (one very pushy Korean and the sweetest Thai woman) led me through a broken fence, around a swampy river to a local village. There were children gathered around a tree, hitting the trunk of the tree with a stick and yelling some sort of rythmic tune (a game I guess...looked like more fun than I was having) hah. The children led us to their houses- and that's when I became speechless. These homes were literally trash mosaics...anything from candy wrappers, scrap car bumpers to drift wood was nailed and taped together for shelter. There were on average about five people living in each home. We'd knock on the door and usually the mom of the house would open the door with a huge smile on her face (i keep changing tenses, so i'm changing again to make this easier): a woman opened the door with a huge smile on her face. She bowed her head offered a "sawatdee kaa" to us and listened to what we had to say. The woman offered us something to eat and drink. I couldn't believe in this situation, a five person family, and she's offering us something. Out of politeness I accepted. She gave me hot tea and corn on the kob (not too bad, actually). I was just going to smile, hold onto it and not eat it..but she waited for me to bite into it (sort of like the woman from the wedding singer with the meatballs) so, I, as adam sandler, bit into the corn and what a sweet surprise. anyway, these living conditions were far worse than any help-the-children commercial i've ever seen. the smell was horrific and still, there were televisions in each home and a brand new, clean vehicle outside most of the homes. No one could speak english (of course) but when I heard the two women I was with say "America" I knew they were talking about me, and I'd smile and nod. I had a bag of "cracker and cream" snacks that I dispensed to the children and was amazed at the fact that as I'd hold out the snack for them to take, these filthy children would take a step back, bow their heads and thank me before they'd accept the gift- that's it. if i have kids, i'm raising them here.
Anyway..we did that for about 4 hours then ate dinner at a nearby japanese restaurant. We took a 5 min. taxi ride to this ENORMOUS mall to eat..there's a million malls around here (filled with the same stuff...whitening creams, little shoes and yellow shirts). This mall was nicer than anything I've ever seen..we all walked around in shock because of what we had seen earlier yesterday afternoon. So far this is the city of surprises... An area we visited today had a Ferrari dealer and Versace stores..and 15 minutes away are people living under old banners and paper roofs...it's ridiculously confusing how poverty works.
Today was church. All I can say about that experience is that is was very long and very confusing. The school/church is run by Korean missionaries, so the church service is in korean then translated into thai, then into english. SO, it takes about 3 times as long to get the word across. When we read scripture, it's outloud because that's how they believe God hears us speak/pray..so, three languages at once- what a party!
Finally today I bought a thai phrase book and began to read it in the taxi on the way back the dorm. There's informative info in there about dialects and tones of speech...key phrases, words, numbers..etc. Very useful things..until, the page I came across that had key phrases written out that one might use on a trip..
for example, I can now say "I'm looking for fisherman pants" and "you're only using me for sex" in thai...hmm, I now vow to use both of those phrases at least once everyday that I am here (to practice my thai, of course).
hah! Also, that taxi ride ended abruptly when our taxi got a flat tire and we had to change cars in the middle of traffic.
Anyway, there's apparently a movie theatre around here with Die Hard playing at it (it might be in Thai)..but, that makes it more fun.
..maybe they'll have fisherman pants there.
I'll get you pair too, don't worry.
Friday, July 27, 2007
"attention Big C shoppers..."
"..American blonde giant, aisle five!"
..or, at least that's what it felt like. Oh, Big C. Big C? Big huh? Big C is the Thai version of a Walmart- only, everything is freshly packed (meats, veggies, fruits, etc.) and it's about 5 stories high. Floor 3: Electronic department- code for: lots of Thai men interested in American women. Funny how no one can speak English and yet some guy managed to mutter: "ah, yes. america. very beautiful". Yea, I bet I am. I'm about twice your weight and height and go by Lauren the giant.
Anyway. I got ripped off. I accidentally left my camera memory card reader at my sister's house so now I've got a bunch of great pictures, and no way to get them onto my computer (which also isn't working with the internet here at the school) sigh.
well, it's free dinner at the school tonight.
hey, i'm sweating.
big surprise.
much love to you all.
love,
sweaty big foot.
..or, at least that's what it felt like. Oh, Big C. Big C? Big huh? Big C is the Thai version of a Walmart- only, everything is freshly packed (meats, veggies, fruits, etc.) and it's about 5 stories high. Floor 3: Electronic department- code for: lots of Thai men interested in American women. Funny how no one can speak English and yet some guy managed to mutter: "ah, yes. america. very beautiful". Yea, I bet I am. I'm about twice your weight and height and go by Lauren the giant.
Anyway. I got ripped off. I accidentally left my camera memory card reader at my sister's house so now I've got a bunch of great pictures, and no way to get them onto my computer (which also isn't working with the internet here at the school) sigh.
well, it's free dinner at the school tonight.
hey, i'm sweating.
big surprise.
much love to you all.
love,
sweaty big foot.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
what the baht?
6:30 am and I'm awake... I rose with the sun (probably because I was sweaty in bed).
Found myself a comfortable spot on the roof of our dormitory (there's a balcony type overlook) and sat down with my ipod and bible in my hands.Though the buildings surrounding the dormitory appear only inhabited by flocks of pigeons and cockroaches, there's something beautiful about the sun rising above such an impoverished city.I've seen the sun rise in the islands of the Bahamas..the white sands of Dania beach..above the mountains in Virginia...but this sunrise leaves me speechless. Something so warm, so pure and so beautiful rising above such despair..
Bethany Dillon sings,
"The same sun that
Rises over castles
And welcomes the day
Spills over buildings
Into the streets
Where orphans play"
..that's what I was reminded of this morning on the roof top. I like it up there.
8:30 soon came, and five of us climbed into the taxi heading for the BTS (the bangkok skytran) and went to Siam. Siam is the most Americanized area I've seen. Most of the Thai people there can either understand or speak English..tourist trap I'd say. Though I've only been here for two days, it was almost distrubing to see other white Americans in public as I'm only used to seeing the few teachers here at the school that are American. Hearing English spoken in public was also somewhat odd.
I first exchanged all my American money ($171) for Thai baht..equally 5800. With an exchange rate like that I must admit I feel like I really got a deal. Though less than two hundred dollars to my name seems as though I'm somewhat poor, I'm so RICH here. Oh, baht.. how you serve me well.
(33 baht= 1 US dollar)
So, the purchases I made today:
lunch:
garlic fried rice (aka stinky breath) 23 baht
chinese herbal tea (hot)- 23 baht
a yellow shirt that says "long live the king" with some sort of embroidered elephant (to wear on mondays in honor of the king): 199 baht (NOT a good deal)
a little bit of makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes called "stay white" (I left ALL of makeup in charlotte): 700 baht
(EXPENSIVE! Only because the makeup I had to buy was imported because all the makeup here is whitening makeup..and this is the least whitening stuff they've got!)
so, i'm saving my baht as I have an entire month before i get paid. so, i either better stop buying stuff, or starve. hmm.. hard choice!
I'm going to look for a ministry outside of school to get involved with. I'm like to find something to do with a woman's ministry or ministering to those affected by the sex trade industry here- something of eternal worth and purpose, that's all i ask!
Karaoke tonight. oh my word..i can't wait.
school training starts next wednesday, and after that- no more fun and games.
7-11 is huge around here. they have dried squid chips and bluberry yogurt soda.
ick!
sawatdee kaa.
Found myself a comfortable spot on the roof of our dormitory (there's a balcony type overlook) and sat down with my ipod and bible in my hands.Though the buildings surrounding the dormitory appear only inhabited by flocks of pigeons and cockroaches, there's something beautiful about the sun rising above such an impoverished city.I've seen the sun rise in the islands of the Bahamas..the white sands of Dania beach..above the mountains in Virginia...but this sunrise leaves me speechless. Something so warm, so pure and so beautiful rising above such despair..
Bethany Dillon sings,
"The same sun that
Rises over castles
And welcomes the day
Spills over buildings
Into the streets
Where orphans play"
..that's what I was reminded of this morning on the roof top. I like it up there.
8:30 soon came, and five of us climbed into the taxi heading for the BTS (the bangkok skytran) and went to Siam. Siam is the most Americanized area I've seen. Most of the Thai people there can either understand or speak English..tourist trap I'd say. Though I've only been here for two days, it was almost distrubing to see other white Americans in public as I'm only used to seeing the few teachers here at the school that are American. Hearing English spoken in public was also somewhat odd.
I first exchanged all my American money ($171) for Thai baht..equally 5800. With an exchange rate like that I must admit I feel like I really got a deal. Though less than two hundred dollars to my name seems as though I'm somewhat poor, I'm so RICH here. Oh, baht.. how you serve me well.
(33 baht= 1 US dollar)
So, the purchases I made today:
lunch:
garlic fried rice (aka stinky breath) 23 baht
chinese herbal tea (hot)- 23 baht
a yellow shirt that says "long live the king" with some sort of embroidered elephant (to wear on mondays in honor of the king): 199 baht (NOT a good deal)
a little bit of makeup to cover the dark circles under my eyes called "stay white" (I left ALL of makeup in charlotte): 700 baht
(EXPENSIVE! Only because the makeup I had to buy was imported because all the makeup here is whitening makeup..and this is the least whitening stuff they've got!)
so, i'm saving my baht as I have an entire month before i get paid. so, i either better stop buying stuff, or starve. hmm.. hard choice!
I'm going to look for a ministry outside of school to get involved with. I'm like to find something to do with a woman's ministry or ministering to those affected by the sex trade industry here- something of eternal worth and purpose, that's all i ask!
Karaoke tonight. oh my word..i can't wait.
school training starts next wednesday, and after that- no more fun and games.
7-11 is huge around here. they have dried squid chips and bluberry yogurt soda.
ick!
sawatdee kaa.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
barefoot in the library
yep. that's right. no shoes in the buildings here in Thailand- which is actually ironic seeing that feet (the bottoms of feet) are considered to be extremely dirty and rude if shown.
Funny. Maybe if they started wearing their shoes more they wouldn't have such dirty feet? I'll have to propose this idea to the king..I'll let ya know what he says.
So, I slept in the school dormitory last night. I'll be staying there until the end of July and then hopefully moving into my own apartment. MY OWN APARTMENT! IN BANGKOK! We looked at apartments today that are around 5000 baht/mo. (around $152) which includes water, electric, NICE furniture, internet, cable and a refrigerator if you want it).. It's actually nicer than anything I could have afforded on my own in the US, so this isn't much of a sacrifce..it's more of a huge step up the "hey i have a cool apartment" ladder. I must say that I am rather proud of my apartment experiences so far... the loft in downtown Lburg, to my own suite in Bangkok. I'm very blessed.
So, kids Korean church tonight, then off to the markets.
sawasdee.
So, kids Korean church tonight. Then off to the mall
Funny. Maybe if they started wearing their shoes more they wouldn't have such dirty feet? I'll have to propose this idea to the king..I'll let ya know what he says.
So, I slept in the school dormitory last night. I'll be staying there until the end of July and then hopefully moving into my own apartment. MY OWN APARTMENT! IN BANGKOK! We looked at apartments today that are around 5000 baht/mo. (around $152) which includes water, electric, NICE furniture, internet, cable and a refrigerator if you want it).. It's actually nicer than anything I could have afforded on my own in the US, so this isn't much of a sacrifce..it's more of a huge step up the "hey i have a cool apartment" ladder. I must say that I am rather proud of my apartment experiences so far... the loft in downtown Lburg, to my own suite in Bangkok. I'm very blessed.
So, kids Korean church tonight, then off to the markets.
sawasdee.
So, kids Korean church tonight. Then off to the mall
Monday, July 23, 2007
fifteen pounds and six feet UNDER
Here I sit, comfy dress and all in the Charlotte International Airport...bags all checked (35 lbs each..I'm so proud they were under 50lbs. Probably the only thing in my life thats ever been UNDERweight. HAHA!)I've had last minute goodbye conversations with close friends, nice long hugs with my mom and sister... Going away for this long seems similar to planning your own dying day (in a non-morbid manner). I've taken care of my belongings, stored them away (if not thrown them/given them away), found a home for my Jeep and said my final goodbyes. So much to prepare for going away for a year really can be an exhausting series of events; only, when death arrives I won't have to worry about silly passport applications (and fees. boo.), storage spaces or if any of my bags are overweight. I've tried to capture each moment for it's beauty and simplicity. Instead of listening to the radio in the car, I've enjoyed the quietness while taking in the scenery- usually associated with traffic in North Carolina- but, still it's America, and we have traffic here. Traffic with scrapbooked bumpers of who's campaigning that year, what the latest music crazes are and an occassional "BABY ON BOARD!" We really are such an expressive society. Looks, books, odds and ends- we express ourselves through everything we do- somewhat like the man sitting to my immediate right- bald head, clean shaven, wire-rimmed glasses reading a fortune 500 book(business looking from the waist up) and then the curveball: cowboy boots and a leather carry-on rolling suitcase. I"m a believer that this man's somehow either related to Sheryl Crow or works in the Corporate Toyota offices and is going on a little plane trip to visit the truck-building boys over in Texas and just wants to fit in.
He might get beat up.
Let's just hope for the best.
Anyway, yes..capturing life's simplicity. Colsen's sticky, "raisin surprise" fingers, his innocent, high-pitched rendition of Bob's song, the smell of my mother's perfume "pew-fume", watching Taryn sing with her eye's closed at Watershed, the look in Scott's eyes when he looks at Taryn (the good one that is), how beautifully pregnant Taryn is and watching my unborn nephew grow a little everyday, looking over in church ans seeing my mom and clark holding hands...I'm so happy my mom has someone to hold hands wth, and finally, someone that loves her holding her hand, Rita's sweet words, my Dad's encouragement.. Love surrounds me. My family is love..and I've had the honor of having a little of all of this all my life.
Life is good. today, life is good.
Also- I just found out I'm not going to be living at the school in Thailand. I was just informed that the school will be giving me an allowance to find an apartment. oh boy, my mom's not gonna like that. (attention mom: it's okay. i'll be fine. i love you, too).
so, that's it. i'm going to detroit now. hello, kid rock.
.....or no, maybe he drives for NASCAR.
He might get beat up.
Let's just hope for the best.
Anyway, yes..capturing life's simplicity. Colsen's sticky, "raisin surprise" fingers, his innocent, high-pitched rendition of Bob's song, the smell of my mother's perfume "pew-fume", watching Taryn sing with her eye's closed at Watershed, the look in Scott's eyes when he looks at Taryn (the good one that is), how beautifully pregnant Taryn is and watching my unborn nephew grow a little everyday, looking over in church ans seeing my mom and clark holding hands...I'm so happy my mom has someone to hold hands wth, and finally, someone that loves her holding her hand, Rita's sweet words, my Dad's encouragement.. Love surrounds me. My family is love..and I've had the honor of having a little of all of this all my life.
Life is good. today, life is good.
Also- I just found out I'm not going to be living at the school in Thailand. I was just informed that the school will be giving me an allowance to find an apartment. oh boy, my mom's not gonna like that. (attention mom: it's okay. i'll be fine. i love you, too).
so, that's it. i'm going to detroit now. hello, kid rock.
.....or no, maybe he drives for NASCAR.
goodbye america.
hello, thailand.
I will bring 2 bags to the airport and leave behind a sniffling, loving mother, sister, nephew and everything that has been familiar to me now all my life.
This will be change. Change is oh, so good.
May the adventure begin.
11 hours.
giddy up.
I will bring 2 bags to the airport and leave behind a sniffling, loving mother, sister, nephew and everything that has been familiar to me now all my life.
This will be change. Change is oh, so good.
May the adventure begin.
11 hours.
giddy up.
Friday, July 20, 2007
six little strings.
I started playing guitar when I was in 10th grade. With a
hand-me-down guitar from my sister's college years, I was instructed to
practice, practice, practice. Dear H. Harvey was my instructor's name.
We'd meet in a closet sized classroom for an hour every other week.
Facing each other, knocking our knees together when tapping our toes to
the beat, we'd play all throughout the session. Mr. Harvey had a
collection of hawaiian floral print shirts which he'd only button up halfway. A gold chain with a detailed medallion
hung from his neck, hands adorned with jewels and hardened fingertips that told stories of stages he'd entertained. A bluesrhythm he
could play best- an inspiration to my musical dreams he had become. I
remember walking into those sessions (having never practiced.
practiced. practiced.) and always walking out wanting to one day be as
good as he was on that guitar. I'd bring recordings of Sting, Jewel and
other artists' showing him the songs I longed to play on my own.
Listening closely, he'd scribble letters. Many, many letters. Letters
and numbers at times. He'd play the recording again. Adjust a few
letters. Then a few numbers, then, he'd turn the wrinkled paper towards
me and say "here ya go."
The code of numbers and letters apparently
were supposed to be some sort of secret musical code that my fifteen
year old mind couldn't decipher on it's own. Ah, yes. Chords. They were
chords. Of course they were! I could never read sheet music, but H.
Harvey's scribbled chords mapped out every song that had ever inspired
me to play guitar- only one day, I went for my music lesson, and there
was no bumping of knees. No tapping of toes. Nohawaiian cruise wear. Only rain, my guitar and a long wait in my mom's Thunderbird. Thirty minutes passed. Thirty five. Forty.
H. Harvey had passed away that evening. No more guitar lessons.
Rest not, dear acoustic beauty. I still love to play.
..(i've also started to pack. no, really. i have.)
hand-me-down guitar from my sister's college years, I was instructed to
practice, practice, practice. Dear H. Harvey was my instructor's name.
We'd meet in a closet sized classroom for an hour every other week.
Facing each other, knocking our knees together when tapping our toes to
the beat, we'd play all throughout the session. Mr. Harvey had a
collection of hawaiian floral print shirts which he'd only button up halfway. A gold chain with a detailed medallion
hung from his neck, hands adorned with jewels and hardened fingertips that told stories of stages he'd entertained. A bluesrhythm he
could play best- an inspiration to my musical dreams he had become. I
remember walking into those sessions (having never practiced.
practiced. practiced.) and always walking out wanting to one day be as
good as he was on that guitar. I'd bring recordings of Sting, Jewel and
other artists' showing him the songs I longed to play on my own.
Listening closely, he'd scribble letters. Many, many letters. Letters
and numbers at times. He'd play the recording again. Adjust a few
letters. Then a few numbers, then, he'd turn the wrinkled paper towards
me and say "here ya go."
The code of numbers and letters apparently
were supposed to be some sort of secret musical code that my fifteen
year old mind couldn't decipher on it's own. Ah, yes. Chords. They were
chords. Of course they were! I could never read sheet music, but H.
Harvey's scribbled chords mapped out every song that had ever inspired
me to play guitar- only one day, I went for my music lesson, and there
was no bumping of knees. No tapping of toes. Nohawaiian cruise wear. Only rain, my guitar and a long wait in my mom's Thunderbird. Thirty minutes passed. Thirty five. Forty.
H. Harvey had passed away that evening. No more guitar lessons.
Rest not, dear acoustic beauty. I still love to play.
..(i've also started to pack. no, really. i have.)
one hundred pounds of things
hello 1am.
nice to see you again.
for the past two days i've had the never-ceasing stomachache. pinpointing the thing responsible for this crippling pain has been somewhat difficult. my diagnosis: anxiety and excitement. oh, thailand. how you are so far away and yet so close.
oh bother. i still have two duffel bags to pack.
off to bed.
nice to see you again.
for the past two days i've had the never-ceasing stomachache. pinpointing the thing responsible for this crippling pain has been somewhat difficult. my diagnosis: anxiety and excitement. oh, thailand. how you are so far away and yet so close.
oh bother. i still have two duffel bags to pack.
off to bed.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
name games and tuesdays.
I've never been much of an actress, as my "professional" acting career
sponsored ego-boosting roles such as: "attendant no. 5," "the owl" (in
Charlotte's Web. Oh, wait..there isn't an owl in Charlotte's Web? I
KNOW! They made that role for me because I apparently wasn't suitable
for any of the normal farm animal characters) and finally my career
abruptly ended my senior year of high school with the final of all
roles: "background girl number 17; therefore, one can plainly see
though my life has been woven by several threads of drama, the dramatic spotlight never really was my thing.
Though,in reality I do play several roles (some better than others. maybe.)
Seeing that I usually wish my everyday encounters with life were accompanied by grand musical scores and coordinated dance moves, the everyday roles I play can become somewhat monotonous; however, my favorite role of all thus far in my mere twenty-one years on this earth is the role of "auntie belle". My sister nicknamed me "belle" when I was younger (short for Campbell) which was slightly odd seeing that Taryn and I both had the same last name as children. I decided to degrade her to the nickname "T". Yea, I showed her. Truly though, she still beckons me by the title "belle,"
therefore Colsen's intuition crafted "auntie belle". When I was younger,
my nickname always had somewhat of a melodic tune "i love you, belle," "you look so cute, belle" and "great job, belle". Now, thanks to a two year old's piercing cry, my lifetime nickname follows nothing but horribly terrifying squeals. "NO! Auntie Belle!" "My do's it, Auntie Belle!" "I want my Mommy, Auntie Belle!" Now hearing my ownname is almost insulting; therefore, as nothing short of revenge I too will shorten Taryn's last name. My sister, Taryn, will now be referred to as "FERT" And I will make sure that Colsen, lovely Colsen, will refer to her nothing other than "Mama Fert" (and "big mama fert" for the duration of her pregnancy).
I must say, I do love that little booger.
I love Colsen, too.
Today was more than satisfying. The Carolina sun welcomed a day by the pool, an extremely healthy lunch of Chic-Fil-A nuggets, and a Mexican dinner at La Paz with my Mom this evening. Pardon me, I meant- Big Mama Cone
sponsored ego-boosting roles such as: "attendant no. 5," "the owl" (in
Charlotte's Web. Oh, wait..there isn't an owl in Charlotte's Web? I
KNOW! They made that role for me because I apparently wasn't suitable
for any of the normal farm animal characters) and finally my career
abruptly ended my senior year of high school with the final of all
roles: "background girl number 17; therefore, one can plainly see
though my life has been woven by several threads of drama, the dramatic spotlight never really was my thing.
Though,in reality I do play several roles (some better than others. maybe.)
Seeing that I usually wish my everyday encounters with life were accompanied by grand musical scores and coordinated dance moves, the everyday roles I play can become somewhat monotonous; however, my favorite role of all thus far in my mere twenty-one years on this earth is the role of "auntie belle". My sister nicknamed me "belle" when I was younger (short for Campbell) which was slightly odd seeing that Taryn and I both had the same last name as children. I decided to degrade her to the nickname "T". Yea, I showed her. Truly though, she still beckons me by the title "belle,"
therefore Colsen's intuition crafted "auntie belle". When I was younger,
my nickname always had somewhat of a melodic tune "i love you, belle," "you look so cute, belle" and "great job, belle". Now, thanks to a two year old's piercing cry, my lifetime nickname follows nothing but horribly terrifying squeals. "NO! Auntie Belle!" "My do's it, Auntie Belle!" "I want my Mommy, Auntie Belle!" Now hearing my ownname is almost insulting; therefore, as nothing short of revenge I too will shorten Taryn's last name. My sister, Taryn, will now be referred to as "FERT" And I will make sure that Colsen, lovely Colsen, will refer to her nothing other than "Mama Fert" (and "big mama fert" for the duration of her pregnancy).
I must say, I do love that little booger.
I love Colsen, too.
Today was more than satisfying. The Carolina sun welcomed a day by the pool, an extremely healthy lunch of Chic-Fil-A nuggets, and a Mexican dinner at La Paz with my Mom this evening. Pardon me, I meant- Big Mama Cone
Monday, July 16, 2007
paper, please.
The two hundred dollar expense for a Hepatitis and Typhoid shot seemed hardly worth it; however, I guess one never really would know. I almost wish I could see the injection working- almost like, to prove that the shots are worth the money, the doctors would stick those horrible needles all over your body, filling you up with these numbing foreign fluids and then suddenly a swarm of malaria infected mosquitos would swarm all over your body while an infected child of Hep A would bleed all over you so that I could walk out of that office feeling nothing other than peachy-keen knowing full well that "hey, I paid two hundred bucks. That crap can't touch THIS!"
Sadly enough, my doctor's visit ended with no such excitement other than a cold bottle of water and a "good luck" from the RN (rotten nurse?...not quite sure.) Afterall, I didn't go to med school.
With just over one hundred dollars left in my bank account I believe my Thailand shopping is complete. After sharing a creamy vanilla and wild berry softserve sundae with my mother and sister at the local Costco my work here is done. 400 mulitvitamins, tylenol, cold medicine, 4 packs of Crayola markers (the box says teacher approved. I felt as a teacher myself, I must get in on this marker movement and try them out so I too can say I approve of their multicolored marking capabilities.) My worry of course is rooted in the fact that I doubt 4 boxes of markers will last a year. Oh, Thailand...I pray you know of Crayola's wonderous products. Let's see.....clean socks, a family size pack of men's deodorant (..it's hot over there, and I figure men sweat more..so I figure smelling like pine and sporty blast isn't so much of a sacrifice for "stronger protection against the elements of heat!"-right guard) I bought these crazy yoga/pilates dvd's to keep me company in my dormitory. Even if I don't use them for exercise, the people are always so nice and encouraging on those videos...I might play them in the background for positive reinforcement and an occassional friendly face to repeat: "Great Job! Keep it up!"
Many bags to unpack. Two duffel bags to repack.
Giddy up.
Sadly enough, my doctor's visit ended with no such excitement other than a cold bottle of water and a "good luck" from the RN (rotten nurse?...not quite sure.) Afterall, I didn't go to med school.
With just over one hundred dollars left in my bank account I believe my Thailand shopping is complete. After sharing a creamy vanilla and wild berry softserve sundae with my mother and sister at the local Costco my work here is done. 400 mulitvitamins, tylenol, cold medicine, 4 packs of Crayola markers (the box says teacher approved. I felt as a teacher myself, I must get in on this marker movement and try them out so I too can say I approve of their multicolored marking capabilities.) My worry of course is rooted in the fact that I doubt 4 boxes of markers will last a year. Oh, Thailand...I pray you know of Crayola's wonderous products. Let's see.....clean socks, a family size pack of men's deodorant (..it's hot over there, and I figure men sweat more..so I figure smelling like pine and sporty blast isn't so much of a sacrifice for "stronger protection against the elements of heat!"-right guard) I bought these crazy yoga/pilates dvd's to keep me company in my dormitory. Even if I don't use them for exercise, the people are always so nice and encouraging on those videos...I might play them in the background for positive reinforcement and an occassional friendly face to repeat: "Great Job! Keep it up!"
Many bags to unpack. Two duffel bags to repack.
Giddy up.
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