hi, friends.
i'm not dead.
Oh, September. What is September minus cooler weather, long pants and beautiful sunsets..without newly sharpened number two pencils and spiced apple scent skippng across the drops of early morning dew? This- this is September in Bangkok.
Heat, smog, and a month of school in the past. This is September.
Over the last week I've started and deleted two blog posts and I find that I'm not exactly why I didn't post them. They were well-written, well-thought posts...informatively interesting and encompassed the details of my rather adventurous weekend excursions-
But, that's just it. Why was I writing about those things? Ponder, ponder.
Last weekend on the train ride to Ayutthaya I slipped in the ol earbuds of my iPod watching the metropolitan scenery of Bangkok vanish with each passing track as the train entered the land of ruins. Ayutthaya, Thailand's old capitol city- the city of devastation. Ayutthaya- where deserted buildings and headless buddhas are hidden beneath the rubble of ancient battles and foreigners come with their digital motivation and teva sandals seeking insight on Thai culture. Last weekend I had the first feeling of feeling like "they," (the foreigners,) were...well..annoying. I felt like a native. I felt Thai. I felt what it's like to have a culture exploited and used for nothing other than a backdrop for a picture. I felt like it was MY culture and the tourists were here only for self-seeking pleasure, a discount at the gift shop and then they'd pile into their jets and head back to "life".
Needless to say, I did not like this feeling..the feeling that I was experiencing some sort of identity crisis in that I've become accustomed to the Thai culture and attitude and that all that is America seems so distant if not lost. I've come to realize that the Thai people are quite deceptive as a whole. They are always looking to take advantage of you in any way possible (unless that is that you can speak a little Thai, and you prove you're not a touristing idiot with no sense of proper pricing and/or the Thai culture). And still, while these people seek to take advantage of tourists and visitors- they live such routine, empty robotic lifestyles, never in search for something greater. The greatest example of this that I can think of is their religious practicse. Buddhism accounts for 95% of the country's religious preference while Muslim practices account for the secnod largest views.
Buddhism is fascinating to me. During my time at Liberty several discussions concerning non-Christian beliefs usually ended with "..I believe it actually takes more faith to believe in something as ridiculous as '________________________'". These people...these "gods"...these...routines. It's insane what they do for these golden statues and yet they look for nothing that gives anything back that will actually save their lost souls.
The deception of the Thai people does not only play into pricing games when a tourist wants to buy a cheap elephant figurine at the markets; rather, deception is the foundation for their religion. They deceive themselves into believing that consistent prayer, offering and sacrifice to these empty gods will actually change their lives...and still, as their god continues to give them nothing in return- no hope, no love, no compassion, no grace, no salvation- they deceive each other, and their own hearts that one day...someday...something might be better.
I don't want to be here for thrills and week trips. I must admit that working in a school filled with Christian teachers, staff and students isn't as challenging as it is facing those that are lost in foolish religion... but, I want to change them. I want t help them. It's overwhelming...but I'm looking for something that I can do..that we can do...to stop the deceit-
this culture can deceive us....
making us think there's nothing beyond the country borders..nothing outside of this intense heat...to just live life until death, doing nothing to make anything better.
It's a bit depressing to watch these people and to live with them and see them, and find motivation from a God that is so absent in this city..
please pray.
pray for all of us.
God is bigger than culture.
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2 comments:
Hi honey....I'm anxious to see some pictures of these ruins. You know...10,000 miles away from the Thai culture, Americans are going through their lives with the freedom to choose their faith, and yet, so many choose to just live and die. And in following, so many (too many) of the children of these faithless Americans follow that same path (sins of the father). It is heartbreaking and the desire to want to change things is an honorable and credible one. I understand your heartfelt frustration. I hope you find a niche to try to turn some of that around. I'm so proud of you.
I miss you (a brazilian).
Wow! Such as life, as one to live without knowing what's to come, or better yet the hope of what's to come. It must be strange seeing the days go by, watching this culture just move on by not realizing what it's all about and what they're truely missing. I do pray, for prayer is not an option to be had, but one of faith. I must admit that to hear of your passion for these people is truely inspiring, for if only we were to take that passion here in the states and let God use it. Well, as the night rolls on, so dooesth(?) myself. It's amazing to see these posts to give those of us back in the states a little insight of the Thai culture. Thanks.
truel,
John
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