handy dandy phrase book

FINALLY. Internet. How I've missed you so.
Weekends at BGIS= NO INTERNET. Why? No library access; therefore, no internet. But, I've found this sweet little internet cafe about 1/4 from the school.

Alright...so, things have been interesting here lately..it's been from one extreme to another. Saturday morning I woke up with the teachers from the English Vision Camp (hosted by BGIS) and we went over to the cafeteria at the school for breakfast. Bob Evans..how I miss you. I enjoyed a lovely breakfast feast of eggs and rice with a side of hot dog (?) I think? At that point, I didn't care. I tend to get very hungry around this place, so when the food is served, it's chow time.."hot dogs" and eggs? WHY NOT!..though, i'm sure is somthing more like "hot cats" if ya catch my drift. Later that afternoon we met at the school and were separated into groups (one american teacher and two thai people) for the Saturday afternoon outreach. We scattered among the city delivering information about the upcoming mother's day sunday (this coming sunday) at our church. Mothers are invited to come and bring their children and stay for a lunch afterwards. We left the school grounds in school vans which brought us down the craziest, skinniest streets (TWO LANE) I've ever been on in my life. The van came to an abrupt stop and the two women I was with (one very pushy Korean and the sweetest Thai woman) led me through a broken fence, around a swampy river to a local village. There were children gathered around a tree, hitting the trunk of the tree with a stick and yelling some sort of rythmic tune (a game I guess...looked like more fun than I was having) hah. The children led us to their houses- and that's when I became speechless. These homes were literally trash mosaics...anything from candy wrappers, scrap car bumpers to drift wood was nailed and taped together for shelter. There were on average about five people living in each home. We'd knock on the door and usually the mom of the house would open the door with a huge smile on her face (i keep changing tenses, so i'm changing again to make this easier): a woman opened the door with a huge smile on her face. She bowed her head offered a "sawatdee kaa" to us and listened to what we had to say. The woman offered us something to eat and drink. I couldn't believe in this situation, a five person family, and she's offering us something. Out of politeness I accepted. She gave me hot tea and corn on the kob (not too bad, actually). I was just going to smile, hold onto it and not eat it..but she waited for me to bite into it (sort of like the woman from the wedding singer with the meatballs) so, I, as adam sandler, bit into the corn and what a sweet surprise. anyway, these living conditions were far worse than any help-the-children commercial i've ever seen. the smell was horrific and still, there were televisions in each home and a brand new, clean vehicle outside most of the homes. No one could speak english (of course) but when I heard the two women I was with say "America" I knew they were talking about me, and I'd smile and nod. I had a bag of "cracker and cream" snacks that I dispensed to the children and was amazed at the fact that as I'd hold out the snack for them to take, these filthy children would take a step back, bow their heads and thank me before they'd accept the gift- that's it. if i have kids, i'm raising them here.
Anyway..we did that for about 4 hours then ate dinner at a nearby japanese restaurant. We took a 5 min. taxi ride to this ENORMOUS mall to eat..there's a million malls around here (filled with the same stuff...whitening creams, little shoes and yellow shirts). This mall was nicer than anything I've ever seen..we all walked around in shock because of what we had seen earlier yesterday afternoon. So far this is the city of surprises... An area we visited today had a Ferrari dealer and Versace stores..and 15 minutes away are people living under old banners and paper roofs...it's ridiculously confusing how poverty works.
Today was church. All I can say about that experience is that is was very long and very confusing. The school/church is run by Korean missionaries, so the church service is in korean then translated into thai, then into english. SO, it takes about 3 times as long to get the word across. When we read scripture, it's outloud because that's how they believe God hears us speak/pray..so, three languages at once- what a party!
Finally today I bought a thai phrase book and began to read it in the taxi on the way back the dorm. There's informative info in there about dialects and tones of speech...key phrases, words, numbers..etc. Very useful things..until, the page I came across that had key phrases written out that one might use on a trip..
for example, I can now say "I'm looking for fisherman pants" and "you're only using me for sex" in thai...hmm, I now vow to use both of those phrases at least once everyday that I am here (to practice my thai, of course).
hah! Also, that taxi ride ended abruptly when our taxi got a flat tire and we had to change cars in the middle of traffic.
Anyway, there's apparently a movie theatre around here with Die Hard playing at it (it might be in Thai)..but, that makes it more fun.


..maybe they'll have fisherman pants there.
I'll get you pair too, don't worry.